Some Background and Being Touched for the First Time

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Since all my stories are about my sexual journey throughout the different chapters of my life, I feel it might be helpful to provide some background and my family dynamics as these all played an important role.I was the middle child in a family of three girls.  My father was a very religious man and my mother went along with it although she came from a non-religious family.My entire childhood was based around the church.  To say that the church was all-consuming is an understatement. We not only spent all day Sundays at church but I was enrolled in actives throughout the week. The list was endless, Sunday School, choir practice, piano lessons, bible studies, young achievers, summer camp, the list goes on and on. And if that wasn’t enough I was forced to babysit for church people all the time. When we were not at church all we talked about was the upcoming church events and its members.With my parent’s encouragement, all my friends belonged to the church and were being raised the same way.  Friends outside of the church were not encouraged nor did I have time for them. Looking back it was almost like a commune-type cult.Obviously, when you are young and this is how you are raised you just accept it.  I never really questioned it until I was older. I thought this was pretty much normal for everyone…and it was in my world.Although I stopped attending church when I was about 15 it wasn’t until I began dating my husband that I really began to question my religious experience.  When I told him how all-consuming it was he likened it to a cult.  They had all kinds of rules and were very strict about many things.  https://escortium.org Yes, I could see how some people would think it was cult-like. In any case, I was totally sheltered as a child and well into my teen year.  I was also very slow to mature and I was playing with dolls even at fourteen or fifteen.  Yeah, I don’t think that’s normal anymore.As a teen, I was slow to develop. When I was fourteen, all the cool girls at school had fully developed and began dating.  I weighed eighty pounds and was flat-chested.  I looked more like ten than fourteen.  I even had a bedroom full of dolls and stuffed animals.On the home front, my parents were complete opposites.  My father was raised in the church and was extremely religious.  He was overweight and well nerdy-looking. My mother on the other hand was the belle of the ball.  She was a fiery redhead. Her side of the family wasn’t religious at all and on the wild side.  They disliked my father with a passion. Looking back, I’m sure they probably thought that he had dragged my mother into this cult-like religion and marriage. And they were probably correct.My father sheltered and distanced us from my mother’s side of the family.  They were the evil nonreligious ones and we were to stay away from them. They drank alcohol, smoked, swore, and even danced. I realize much later in life it was the complete opposite.  They were the fun-loving normal ones and we were the weird ones.My mother was a beautiful woman. If I heard it once, I heard it a million times how beautiful she was and how she looked like Ann Margret or Susan Sarandon. She was always the center of attention and a big hit with all the men at church.  Even as a child I could sense that mom and dad were a strange match.  As I got older I learned so much more about my mother and believe me I have some unbelievable stories to write about her. My older sister was attractive looking and in high school was popular with all the boys.  She had a wild streak that horrified my strict father. At home, she was just plain evil.  She would constantly tell me how ugly I was and how she was embarrassed that I was her sister.  She mentally abused me until she finally ran away from home at sixteen and never returned.  I certainly didn’t miss her.My father’s strict religious upbringing had a lot to do with her running away.  She would not conform to all his strict rules so he basically forced her to leave home. The story I heard was she became a groupie with a rock band and traveled with them.  She was the wild one. Seeing my older sister getting kicked out of the house pretty much kept me in line for the next few years. I was terrified if I misbehaved I would be shown the door also.My mother on the other hand constantly told me I had a big nose and dark circles under my eyes as a child.  At 12 she wanted me to use make-up because “I needed all the help I could get.”I had been constantly put down my entire childhood. I had no self-esteem at all.  I believed I WAS the ugliest girl in the world. This was the house I grew up in.My youngest sister was born six years after me so she didn’t factor into the picture until much later.  Believe me, there are stories to be told about her.  ————My world changed the summer I turned sixteen.  I rapidly began to develop into a young lady.  My breasts finally started growing and I started to develop curves.  I grew a few more inches and I put on some much-needed weight although I was still under 100 pounds.That summer my boobs had blossomed and I was so proud of them.   I was worried I was going to be flat-chested like my older sister, but instead, I inherited my mother’s genes and I was thrilled.I was very naive and desperately needed guidance.  My mother was never the nurturing type so I received no guidance from her.  She was so wrapped up in her own life I don’t even think she noticed.   I had always worn hand-me-down clothes from my older sister but she ran away from home at sixteen so I had nothing more to wear.  My mother never took me shopping for a bra or for better-fitting clothes.   I didn’t buy my first bra until I was about nineteen and that was with the help of one of my friends.I was sent out into the world to fend for myself.  Up until this point, I was invisible to boys.   I had no interactions with boys as they wanted nothing to do with me. But all of a sudden boys began to notice me.  Was it me or my perky breasts they noticed? I was wearing the same flimsy t-shirts I had been wearing for the last couple of years except now the shirts were tight as I had grown.  I suppose my breasts and nipples were well defined through my now tight-fitting t-shirts. Although I was developing physically, mentally I was still a child.  I knew nothing about sex…there was no internet, no sex education back then, my mother never gave me ‘the talk’.  I had no idea where babies came from! I was raised in the church and was very much sheltered.

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