ProfNigma Stories #5: If Wishes Were Hornets #14

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ProfNigma Stories #5: If Wishes Were Hornets #14iCarly/Victorious: If Wishes Were Hornets #14 – Tori”I wish I was the star of my very own TV show.”When Tori Vega woke up, she felt extremely worn down. Dancing with Jade for half the night at the party had certainly taken a toll on her body. She even got a few dances in with Nate, but by the time they had the chance, the party had already died down and she was ashamed to say that she was a little dr*nk. Tori wished she felt bad about not giving Nate as much attention as she should, but honestly, she didn’t and she just couldn’t bear to tell him how she really felt. She made her way out of bed and into her shower, groaning and trying to fight the hangover that was splitting her skull.As she got out and dried off, she could hear Trina moving around downstairs but what really threw her was that her parents seemed to also be there. Something felt nice about knowing that her f*mily was around today. Lately, it felt like they were never around anymore, so just having loved ones around seemed to ease Tori’s pounding head.”Hey, sweetie,” her mom casually said.”Hey, mom. Glad to see you and dad are actually-“”Ughh… can we finally eat breakfast,” Trina whined from the table. “You can talk later. I’m really tired and hungov-“Trina was silenced by a look from her dad as he shot a look that might as well have been a gunshot.”-Hung over my clothes on a clothes hanger…” the eldest Vega said, trying to save face. “Which is a completely normal thing to do.”Mr. Vega just shook his head and checked his watch. “Tori, hun, would you run out and grab the paper for me? I’m making breakfast and your mom is helping me. And your s*ster… anyway… can you go out and get it?”Tori sighed and shrugged, heading out into the morning’s light, the sun’s brightness making her eyes feel like they might explode. She walked slowly up the drive to grab the paper from the box, but as she reached inside, she found something that felt like a magazine. As she pulled it out, it was blue and seemed to be filled with pages. It was a script.VicToriOus:”Falling Star”Directed by: Joe CataniaWritten by: Dan SchneiderAs Tori flipped through the first couple of pages the script had every word that she had just had with her f*mily. Right down to her dad sending her out to get the paper. Shaking her head like this was a dream she quickly made her way back inside and saw her f*mily sitting around the table and staring at her as if to wait for something. Tori quickly took her seat at the kitchen table, holding tight to the script.”So, I hear there’s someone whose been breaking into the school,” her dad said, looking at her strangely.Tori stared at him confused and quickly looked under the table at the script. Sure enough, the line was there. She mumbled as she read it out, “So, I hear there’s someone who’s been breaking-“”I JUST FUCKING SAID THAT!” he shouted in a voice that was completely unlike his own.”Cut!”Hearing another voice echo through her house scared her and she jumped and looked into her living room where the voice came from. The wall, she just thought, her mind feeling like it had snapped. The wall was gone, and now there was just a crowd of people standing in her living room with cameras and other technical pieces.Her f*mily each got up and headed into the crowd, apparently for makeup touch-up and the like. A middle aged man came from the crowd and looked a bit upset, and Tori was secretly worried that whoever this was mad at her for something. Luckily he was wearing a hat that said Joe, so she prayed that was his name.”Victoria… what’s up?” Joe said, eyeing her.”Umm… you can just call me Tori…””Want to stay in character? Ok then… that’s fine. So… what’s wrong?””I… umm… I don’t really know. I guess I’m just really confused. What’s going on here?”Joe laughed, “I don’t think any of us ever really do. Why don’t you get your makeup on and we’ll do another take once you’re ready. I know you’re worried about today.”Tori was about to say something when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She spun around to see a heavyset man with black hair that seemed overly friendly, but there was something off about him.”VJ?” he said, spinning her around a full circle. “You’re killing me.””Umm… I’m sorry. What did you call me?””VJ… you know? Your nickname… based off your initials… Victoria Justice… anyway…” he paused, seeing that his star was beginning to hyperventilate. “Look, I know you’re tired and I get that you really don’t want to shoot today, but we don’t have the money to spend another day on the series… so, try and keep things on schedule, if you don’t mind k*ddo.””What is going on?!” she shouted, earning the attention of everyone on set. “Where is my living room?”The crew watched as Victoria Justice began to just lose her mind, racing up the house’s stairs that actually didn’t lead anywhere.”Where’s my room? What. The. Hell. Is. Going. On?””Ummm… Victoria?” the heavyset man asked, “I’m gonna go ahead and call for lunch… take some time to get… whatever this is straight, ok?”The large man sauntered back into the crowd and Tori was left standing in her fake living room. It took her a few seconds to recognize her f*mily on the side of the set. She rushed over to them as they were removing their microphones, and changing clothes.”Mom! Dad! Trina! What’s going on?””What’s going on is you’re fucking up your lines, Victoria,” her mother responded snidely.”What?!” Tori said, completely taken aback.”She’s right, Victoria,” Trina said, taking a seat that said ‘Daniella’ on it. “It’s time you really faced the inevitable. It’s not that we don’t like you. We’re just ready to move on to more important roles. Just learn your lines and ride this thing out.””Yes,” Mr. Vega chimed in, with a British accent for some reason, “It’s not as if we are performing Chekov, dear girl. I never imagined that I would be giving up a real Broadway career for some ch*ldren’s show.””What’s wrong with you guys? Why are you acting like this? I’m your daughter!””Oh, now she takes her role seriously,” her mom said, rolling her eyes as she left the stage area.Trina and her ‘dad’ headed off together as well, and Tori was mortified when she saw her dad reach down and grab Trina’s ass before her s*ster slapped his hand away. Tori could hear the two of them arguing back and forth as they exited the stage area. Tori stood around, feeling like she was about to cry when she heard a familiar voice behind her.”Hey VJ,” Cat said, causing Tori to spin around. “You look lost. Did you lose something?” There was something about her voice that just seemed off.”Yeah, Cat, I-“”We’re not filming, you can call me Ari, you know?””Oh sorry… Ari… I guess I just feel like I’ve just lost my life,” the Latina said looking all over the set which looked faker and faker with each glance.The redhead giggled a bit, “That’s after lunch…” The normally shy girl kurtköy escort laughed a bit more and then headed out to where everyone was standing.Tori rushed out and saw Trina drinking a smoothie, wearing giant aviator sunglasses.”Trina,” she called out. “I’ve gotta get to my room. I gotta something out of it.”Her s*ster looked confused and pointed across the way from where they were when her room was made of a whole different set. “Your room set’s over there, VJ. And you can call me Daniella… what’s up with you today?””I’m not really sure, Tr- I mean, Daniella. I am so confused.””It’s because you’re stressed. You need to do some yoga and you need to cut down on the meat that you eat. Eating meat ruins our ability to think clearly and you need to put your all into today’s filming, especially if Ari is… well, you know.”Tori was going to ask what she was talking about, but Daniella had to rush away, leaving Tori standing with her back to the darkened set of her house. The teen looked out into what appeared to be a huge backlot, seeing several of her friends and co-stars walking around, but it was mostly crew and tech people carrying or setting up stuff.The Latina casually walked up and down the streets, and saw that a lot of people were dodging eye contact with her. Tori looked around searching for something that seemed remotely familiar when she heard some very familiar singing. Her eyes darted across the way and saw the school and she raced over, hoping what she heard was who she thought it was.Sure enough, she rounded the corner inside the hallways set and saw Sikowitz in his classroom. Only as she saw that he seemed the exact same did the concept of the wish even remotely cross her mind.”Tori Vega!” he shouts, sipping from his trademark coconut. “You were not someone I was expecting to see today. What brings you by?””Welll, Sikowitz, it’s… Wait, did you call me Tori?””Yes… that’s the name you’re identified as, right?””Umm… yeah, I guess. So, here’s the thing-“”Would you like a coconut?” he offers her one just like his.While Tori could use a drink, this was certainly not what she was wanting. “I’m ok. So, anyway, I woke up and everything was normal, but now… I’m like in this TV show and there are cameras everywhere and everyone’s being super cryptic about, like, everything.””So what exactly are you saying?” he said, with a serious face, taking a sip.”I don’t know, Sikowitz… that’s kinda why I’m here.””Well, then…” he said, moving over to his desk, “why don’t we just look at these pages?” he says, flipping through a script that was identical to the one she had this morning. “I find that whenever there’s a plot that needs some moving, I just sorta come in and say something relevant and then go away. If you just follow the pages, you should be just fine.””The pages?” she said, quizzically. “It was that script! Everything went all nutso when I looked at that script. Maybe that’s what caused all this. Maybe that’s the key to getting things back to normal.””Maybe,” he said flipping through. “Here we are… Tori, that’s you, heads to school to talk to Mr. Sikowitz, which is me. And here’s all our lines: I offered you a coconut, check, you talk about your crisis, check, and now here I am looking up what happens next.”Tori stared at him for a few moments, eventually snapping out of whatever stupor he was in when she yelled, “What happens next?””This is odd, Tori… the rest of these pages are blank. See?” he asked, offering her to take a look. “I… don’t know what I’m supposed to do. The last thing it says is for me to show you the pages. Maybe you should stick around they might send some more pages. Maybe change things. The higher ups do that all the time.”The two sat in silence for a couple minutes when an idea struck Tori so hard, she nearly fell over. “If there’s a script, Sikowitz, there has to be a writer!””You know… there is some real brilliance to that logic, Vega. If we didn’t have an exact script to follow for everything than the world would descend into true chaos. You can’t just have people moving and shaking all willy nilly. Looks like this Dan guy is the writer… maybe you should go see him… and maybe he’ll have some more of these wonderful pages.”Wasting no time, Tori bolted from the classroom, running down the fake halls of the school, and trying desperately to find a map to go and talk to this Dan guy.****It took almost 20 minutes to track down, but Tori finally found out where Dan’s office was and stormed the place, rushing by the secretary who warned her twice that she was not allowed in the writer and producer offices without proper consent. Tori didn’t care. She just wanted this nightmare to end.Quickly finding Dan’s door, she burst inside and found the heavyset man from earlier inside talking to Cat.”Umm… VJ, you know that actors aren’t supposed to be in my office, right?””But… Mr. Schneider,” she said as if she was just guessing his name, “I’m not a real actress.””It takes a really confident person to admit to that…” Cat muttered, earning a laugh between her and Dan.”Sir, I’m not entirely sure what is going here, but I-“Tori was cut off as Dan rushed her over to the couch where Cat was seated. “I’m actually glad you’re here though, Victoria. Ari and I have been discussing some things in your final scene and I think we might be making some changes to the script. Just tweaks.””Thank god… I’ve been-“”So, here’s the setup we have right now. It’s night-time. You left the house to head to the school. You’re in the auditorium getting some materials for Jade, and I already talked to Liz about this, and you two are going to try and put on a small play together. Anyway, that’s not important. What is important, though, is that Avan, or ‘Beck,’ since you seem so set on using character names today, Matt/Robbie, and Ari here are also in the school.””See,” Cat spoke up, “we have been talking about this prowler thing, and earlier this guy, who has been stealing art supplies, attacked Leon, or Andre, and hurt him pretty bad. So, we’re out to try and stop this guy.””Right, but you don’t know anything about them showing up. You finish getting what you need and you cut the lights out just as they get into the auditorium. Our girl, Cat, here, comes in and being the oblivious cutie she is, thinks you’re the bad guy and she shoots you.””Actually,” Cat said, putting her hand on the horrified Tori’s shoulder, “I’m thinking I might need to shoot her a few more times… say seven or eight… you know, so it’s clear to the viewers that she is good and dead. And then we can easily go to ‘Sam & Cat’ without a problem.””Oh my god! That is a good idea,” he said, quickly jotting that down. “If this goes well, I smell Emmy. No more meaningless K*ds Choice Awards.””Ummm…” Tori said, finally getting her mind wrapped around the idea. “What exactly does dead mean?”The two of them looked at her oddly aydıntepe escort and began spouting off euphemisms:”Croaked.””Pushing up daisies.””Kicked the bucket.””Six feet under.””Deceased.””Stone cold.””Worm food.””Bought the pine condo.””Erased.””C’mon Tori…” Cat said, grinning sheepishly, “Aren’t you ready to get your angel wings?”****After hearing all the horrible plans that the writer and Cat had for her, Tori bolted from the office and spent some time walking around the set. There were all these different shows that were being filmed. “Big Time Rush,” “How to Rock,” “Marvin, Marvin (whatever that was),” and she could swear she saw Drake Bell at one point. This really was her dream but this had become a real nightmare for her. If this was a show based on her life, and they were planning to kill her, does that mean she would actually die? The quandary she was in blinded her as she meandered throughout the Nickelodeon set.Tori wandered back to her house set and found Trina and her mom… or at least the actresses of those roles, sitting in their chairs and eating salads with one of the women who was doing their makeup earlier.”I really wanted to explore the bad side of this role,” her mom said, sighing and flipping through the new script. “We had this really interesting subplot of me having this torrid affair with my husband’s partner, but of course the show has to end so ‘her dye-ness’ can get her own fuckin’ show.””Seriously, Jennifer,” Trina said, “I don’t know why you want to keep diving into these roles that have no depth and all they do is continue to set us back.” Trina sighed heavily, and looked over at her s*ster. “I mean, I am an ardent feminist and I feel my soul dying every time I have to say one of these bitchy older s*ster lines. I’m not about being objectified like the other girls on this show. Be happy you’re getting out of here, Victoria.”Tori was going to say something but her eyes caught a huge tattoo on her mom’s arm and shoulder. “Holy cow, mom… does dad know you have a tattoo?””Who?” she stared back at her fake daughter. “Oh, you mean James? I don’t see how it’s any of his business… and I’m pretty sure that guy knows nothing about women.””You know tattoos are just another way that society objectifies women-“”Quit being an activist cunt, Daniella. Not everything is some big cause…” Tori was stunned to hear the words come from her mom’s mouth, but she had to focus on the fact that they weren’t really her f*mily. “Look Victoria, it’s not a huge thing to be killed off on a show. I had a recurring thing on ’24’ but then got murdered. I cried for weeks, but I got over it. You’re going to be fine.”Tori bolted from her chair and ran off into the hustle and bustle of the crew, looking scared and desperate.”I wonder where that poor girl’s going…” Jennifer said, taking a big bite of her salad.”I know where she’s going,” the makeup girl said, “She’s going where any red-bl*oded ch*ld star goes after getting cancelled. On a crime spree.”The three women laughed wholeheartedly, a strange cackling echo that Tori could still here even from a distance away.* * *The Latina TV star raced through the backlot of the show desperately searching for a place to hide out from everyone, and just as she reached a group of planted trees, she looked behind her and saw her dad on a massage table. She considered saying something, but from the way that he was flirting with the surprisingly attractive masseuse made her feel really uncomfortable. She decided to keep running and hide behind another set wall just in time as she looked back to see a Delorean pull up next to her dad.”Have you seen Victoria?” the voice, which Tori immediately recognized as Dan’s, called out to James.”I believe she went that way, Daniel.””Thank you, sir,” came a second voice which sounded like Cat’s but Tori wasn’t entirely sure.”Something wrong?” he asked sitting up to look into the car.”You bet,” Dan said, sounding angry. “First, the girl bursts into my office and breaks down because we’re going to kill her character, demanding that she not die. Now, we can’t find Victoria and if she’s not on set by tonight, then we’re not going to finish this episode and all of us are gonna get cancelled.””Yeah,” Cat said, Tori was sure it was her now, “Our fans deserve closure for Tori’s character before they get used to me as the new star of the show.””Well, you and Jennette, Ari.””Whatever,” the redhead said, getting out of the car. “I’m gonna go grab Liz and Avan and we’ll go track her down and take care of this. VJ can’t hide for long. It’s not like she has a vehicle on set.”Tori bolted behind a building and saw several of the show’s sets in front of her. She took a deep breath and headed for her house which was at least a third of a mile away. Behind her, she could hear the calls and shouts from Cat, Beck, and Jade from a megaphone as her three former friends were making better travel via a golf cart.Tori got inside her front door just in time to hide, her heart sinking when she realized it was just a set and there was nothing inside, realizing her house set was somewhere different. It worked well enough though as a hiding spot.”Why would she be here,” she heard Jade say from the other side of the door.”Because, Liz,” Cat said, peering through the windows, only inches away from seeing Tori, “our little Victoria is the type of dumb cunt that really believes that there’s no place like home.”Hearing her sweet friend talk about her like that, Tori just lost and lunged out the door, racing away, but Cat was too fast and wrestled her to the ground. Beck moved closer to the girl fight, not wanting to interrupt because it was hot but wanting neither of them to really get hurt.Jade was now back at the cart, on the phone with someone and she was casually flirting with someone, trying to ignore her two co-stars rolling on the ground and fighting.”You have to tell me everything, Cat. Or Ari…” the brunette said, pinning the short redhead to the ground, “whatever your name is now. Tell me everything.””Ok, Victoria… let me go and I’ll tell you everything, ok?” she said innocently, batting her eyes. Foolishly, Tori let her go, and the redhead flipped them so that she was now pinning Tori to the ground, with an arm on her tanned throat. “You really are stupid.””What do you expect? I’m literally a lamb being led to slaughter here. You don’t get it. This is my life. I’m not an actress, and this is literally my life that this ‘show’ is and if my ‘character’ dies, then I’m going to die. I’m not this… VJ that you keep talking about.””Look, Victoria,” Beck said, helping the two girls up, “I’m not sure what’s up with you, but you’re not going to die. You’re going to get work after this. You’ll be ok.””We’ll see about that,” Ari said, standing up and cleaning herself up. “Nick isn’t big enough for both of us, and its time you went tuzla içmeler escort on. I’m the twitter star and I’m the pretty one that all the guys go nuts over. You had Zoey 101 and the iCarly guest spots… But now is my time, and if it means killing you in real life, nothing is going to stop me from being the biggest star at this network.””Ari,” Beck said, looking a bit offended by her anger, but was cut off when Liz shouted from the cart.”Hey, Ari babe, I’ve got Teen People and they want to do a whole article on you. Get people ready for the new show.”The redhead looked away for a second to respond and Tori punched her hard in the shoulder and started running away, leaving the three co-stars to stand around.”Don’t bother running, girl! There’s nowhere to hide!” Cat shouted out. “The script says you die and so you’re gonna die! It’s inevitable.” She looked back at her two co-stars and shrugged before the three of them headed back to set, leaving a hiding Tori to come up with a plan.If the script says it, it has to happen, she thought. Then I just have to change the script.* * *”Hello, Mr. Schneider. This is Kurt, your Delorean’s service and valet guy.” Tori was trying to mask her voice on the set phone as well as she absolutely could. “There’s been an issue with your car.”There was a shout on the other end of the line, and she saw Dan burst from his office and run down the street, presumably to where his car was, screaming for his baby. The secretary was a few steps behind him, shouting that the script needed to be finished for tonight’s episode, but he did not slow down in the least as he headed towards the garage, yelling back that this was an emergency.While both of them were distracted, Tori was able to sneak into Dan’s office and get onto his computer. She found that he was already working on the script and she summed up all her writing skills to quickly write a new ending, this time one she was sure would be fine.Tori quickly printed out the pages and went to the secretary, who was rifling through notes on what she could do for this situation.”Ummm… Dan just sent these pages over. Says they are the finished product for the scene tonight.””Oh…” she said softly. “Glad to see you got yourself together, Miss Justice. Dan was really worried something was sincerely wrong with you.””Oh… I’ve never been better. Just had to get some things set straight.”****Tori arrived onset happily and saw that her f*mily was also getting into position as well, having their final dinner scene with her before she headed off to the school, and her doom. A huge Hispanic guy walked over to her and scared the teen half to death when he spoke.”I need you to take your shirt off, ma’am.””What?” she said, surprised, spinning around.”I’m the prop guy. I need to get these bl*od packets on you, but I can’t find where I put that fake gun.””Oh, don’t worry about it,” came a voice from behind the guy. He moved back to reveal Cat. “We won’t need the prop gun. I’ll be doing this one,” she said, pulling a pistol from her waistband, “au naturale.” She and the prop guy exchanged hearty laughs as Tori backed away from them slowly.She took her place at the dinner table and looked at her f*mily, for what felt like the last time. Tori thought she had found a way out of this, but the script in front of her still had the same ending.”It’s been an honour, Victoria. You are quite the young lady and I hope you have the best luck in your future endeavours,” her dad, giving her a nod, which her mom also nodded and patted her hand.”Have… uh… any new pages come out tonight?” Tori asked nervously.”Oh god, I hope not,” Trina said. “I’d hate to miss my one bitchy line in this episode…” she said, sounding just as angry as always.Tori let out a sigh, scared that this really was the end, and just as the director was getting in his chair to start things, the secretary burst onto the set with the new pages. The director rolled his eyes as he flipped through the pages and handed copies around the kitchen table.The Vega f*mily checked their lines and saw there was a real change here, and they quickly tried to memorize things before the camera started shooting. Tori felt better but she felt overjoyed when she saw that Cat was there and peeking through the pages, looking incredibly pissed. Her face was now red enough to match her hair.The petite girl grabbed her phone and started pressing buttons until she heard ringing. It rang and rang, but all she could get was Dan’s voicemail.”Dan, what the fuck is this happy ending shit?!” she screamed. “How can we go from murdering her to her parents throwing her a party, stopping her from being in the school? The show can’t end like a normal friggin’ episode! How can I get my own show if we don’t kill this show-hogging cunt that you’ve magically decided not to kill?! I’m gonna take this into my own hands, is what I’m gonna do.”Tori looked up at the angry girl who was taking steps towards the dining room stage as the director started his countdown.”3… 2…””Noooo!” Cat screamed as she pulled the gun from inside her dress and just as she pulled the trigger, sending a very real bullet at Tori, the brunette teen closed her eyes, wished for her normal life, and just said a single word.”Action.”* * *When Tori opened her eyes, she just saw her f*mily. No cast, no crew, and no Cat, which she was most grateful for.”I love you guys,” Tori said, absent of any reason to say anything. “I can’t imagine my life without you guys… even you, Trina. I just love you.””Wow, thanks s*s… but maybe you shouldn’t be drinking this early in the day…”Tori laughed at her s*ster and checked the clock, seeing that it was the same time it was when things went crazy this morning.”I’m going to go out and get some fresh air guys…”Tori was excused and the thin teen headed out the front door, and Tori took in the sight of her neighbourhood, taking a deep breath and enjoying the real life that lay ahead of her. She was just about to head inside and shut the door when a blue page flew in and caught on the door.A chill went up Tori’s spine as she picked up and turned over the sheet:TORI: (opens eyes) I love you guys. I can’t imagine my life without you guys… even you, Trina. I just love you.”TRINA: Wow, thanks s*s… but maybe you shouldn’t be drinking this early in the dayTORI: (Laughs) I’m going to go out and get some fresh air guys…”TORI walks out into the yard and seems happy until she sees the blue page. She looks into the camera as, the slow horror is revealed.ENDTori looked up from the pages and looked around the neighbourhood and then back inside her house, and she felt more scared than she’d ever felt in her life. Everything was the same, but if this page was here, that means it wasn’t over. Tori shut the door and joined her f*mily again, praying that this wasn’t going to end the way she feared it would.Outside her house, a very familiar heavy-set man grabbed a script from the Vega’s mailbox and tore it up, the pages drifting in every direction, littering the neighbourhood. “Win some, you lose some,” he said calmly, as he walked off into the neighbourhood.Produced by:Dan Schneider

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