My Coming Out

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Hello, My name is Jesse. You might say this is my coming out story, first one ever. I’m a 31 years old single female. I was married for six years in my late teens and twenties to my high school sweetheart who’s name began with the letter J and I will refer to as J. Unfortunately he went and did what he felt was his patriotic duty and was killed during his third tour protecting the dollar, oh wait ridding the world of WMD’s, yeah right. No bitterness here huh.

Politics aside, I got pregnant after my husband returned from his first tour and while he was off on his second tour I went into labor and ended up with a breech baby at a base hospital on a Saturday night with nothing more than an orderly for help. I lost my son. Tore my cervix rather badly and almost bled to death. A base “surgeon” and I use the term loosely, sewed me back up. My cervix now is always open and floppy. Getting pregnant now would be difficult and an exercise in futility as I could never carry to term.

My dad left my mom when I was about six months old and my mom died of cancer when I was a sophomore in high school. I finished school living at the YWCA. Not wanting to be in debt after graduation and no family to help, a collage degree was a pipe dream so after high school J and I got married. He went to basic and I started waiting tables at a cafe. I read every book I could get my hands on about business and bahis firmaları eventually migrated to the stock market. I began trading equities and now trade equities, currencies and options. After J died I left base life all together and rented a small place in the pacific northwest. My trading advanced and I now have my own home on several very secluded acres near the Canadian border . I work using my computers at my office at home. I get up early as markets open on east coast time and I’m on west coast time so I go to bed early. I have goats, chickens, two mules a dog and some barn cats. My life is what you might call complete, with the exception of one thing.

I get lonesome. J is the only person I’ve ever had sex with and it’s been six years since. Would like to find the right person someday. Right now I go into town every Friday evening and have dinner at a local cafe. By my self. Oh I have plenty of suitors and offers and even gone on dates but most are looking for somebody to replace their mama. I’d like a man I can and want to be 100% submissive to because I respect him and he is naturally dominant. Not because I fear him. That will never work and I’m not looking to be a maid or a mama. A division of labor so to speak and I don’t want to wear the pants. Prefer a nice dress with some risque and classy lingerie underneath.

Once every two months my neighbor feeds for me and kaçak iddaa I go to Seattle or Missoula for a long weekend, I’ll shop and stock my pantry and feed room. See a movie. Eat at a nice restaurant and go back to my hotel room alone. J used to love when I dolled up for him and I loved it as well so I still shave myself bare, slide on some nice stockings and attach them to beautiful garter-belts I have, slip on a nice dress and go enjoy a fine meal.

Once back in my room I wear out my pussy with a vibrator and an assortment of dildos I have just for such an occasion. I have sooooooooo many fantasies I can get off on. I want to have my nipples abused, maybe even pierced. A little FYI, I have no tattoos and never will, My ears are pierced and I have worn some clip on’s that slip in or over my belly button and my labia. I would like a lover to “make ” me get my labia and my nipples pierced. I also fantasize much more than I should about being gang banged. I loved the taste, smell, texture, and feel of J’s sperm and semen. I happily took him in my mouth and I dream and yearn for it constantly. I loved that instant when his dick got real hard then surprised me as it squirt in my throat.

J never once tried to take my ass but I have experimented using my dildos and I do want the real thing. J and I were also what I think are termed exhibitionist. That, or we couldn’t wait to get to a kaçak bahis bedroom to hump like bunnies. Either way, I enjoyed others seeing us having sex on numerous occasions. Now in my hotel room alone I routinely leave the curtains open slightly.

As for my group sex fantasy I have looked at a gang bang group over in the Seattle area. I contacted them and have investigated them somewhat and sent them a picture of me. I’m 5’2″ tall about 100 lbs. , real blonde hair and a c-cup breast. They were very interested but I’ve decided to wait. I would rather attend as a couple with someone I trust. I’ve gone so far as to go get vaccinated for HPV. I do know if I went down this path I would have to require testing for anyone involved as I only want bareback. I might as well stay home and continue using a dildo if not.

I’m also dying to be photographed. J took two pictures of me years ago wearing stockings when we first got married and a few years ago I met a photographer who I actually had to pay to take pictures of me in his loft on a very cold winter day. I smiled as it was fun and exciting but I shivered the whole time. Then recently I took several pictures of myself in front of my piano with an automated camera. Not bad but could be better. Oh well, that’s my life for now.

Not sure where this writing is going. I’ve tried writing fiction and I suppose I don’t have enough life experiences to draw from because my attempts end up being bland. If the right person comes along maybe I’ll have something to write about. They may still be bland then but they’ll be real. Have a good day and hope you enjoy.

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