Mrs. Young Ch. 06

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I had a mild head cold in May the week before high school graduation. I was riding the tail-end of it, just starting to smell again.

It’s been about eight months since Jenny and I first had sex in my bedroom that rainy day in October last year. Laying in bed blowing my nose, it’s one of the many things I’m thinking about right now. Jenny and I had been alone in my bedroom, free to enjoy each other that first time.

That evening after we left my parents house was difficult. I tried to comfort Jenny in the laundry room that night. Drinking who knows how much wine had made her far more emotional than what she probably would have been. I was there for her nonetheless.

Thinking back to that moment in the laundry room and the months that followed, I did all I could. I said what I thought was right. I said what I wanted to say and even what I didn’t want to.

*

“Hey,” I make her look at me. “We don’t have to stop. We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to either. I just,” I’m watching her move further away from me until she’s leaning against the dryer. She’s closing herself off. “I had fun today. What we did was great. I thought so, at least. I thought you had fun too.”

“Matthew,” she says, struggling to get her point to come out.

“What’s wrong?” I ask, even though I know. Of course I know.

“Everything.” She nudges me away and motions with her hands to put some kind of invisible wall between us.

“I know,” I try to understand, but my feelings are drastically different than hers toward the situation. Similar, yes, but different.

“I’m sorry. I’m embarrassed,” she shakes her head while looking down.

“You don’t have to be sorry or embarrassed.”

“Well I do feel that way. I’m so ashamed. You must think I’m awful.” She’s trying to whisper, but not successfully.

“Why would I think that? I just had the best time with you.”

More tears fall. “It was. It was a great time. I just can’t stop thinking about Michael and my husband.” Her bottom lip trembles as she looks down and she uses her sleeve to wipe under her eyes.

She feels guilty. Her feelings are completely justified. I feel the same way, but I’m not allowing my guilt to stop me. For me, the pleasure outweighs the guilt. For her, the guilt appears to be too heavy for her to handle.

“I know.” I look down, sharing part of the shame with her for betraying my best friend. We can’t take it back now. The damage is done, and I really don’t want to take it back anyway.

“I allowed all of this to happen.” She says.

I shake my head, “No.”

Nodding, she argues me, “I did. My son is your best friend. How could I let this happen? I cheated on my husband. This isn’t okay. It’s not right.”

“There’s no reason to blame yourself. We’ve both been making decisions for what we wanted.” I tell her. “That’s all it is. We’re doing what we both want, right?”

She’s hesitant, but she nods, agreeing with me.

“It feels good, right?” I ask.

“Matthew, you make me feel amazing, but all the pleasure comes at a cost. I understand what you’re trying to say, but please hear me. I don’t know if I can ever be okay with this.” Her hand rests over her chest as she says this. I’ve never seen her like this. She’s conflicted as she looks at me. A mix of shame and longing all packed into one stare.

I don’t know what it feels like to be married and committed to someone like she is. I can’t imagine what she is actually feeling right now, but I can try. And I can comfort her and be there for her in the only way I know how.

“This hurts.” She says, looking straight into my eyes. I hear her. But that doesn’t mean I’m not disappointed. I have to acknowledge her and what she just admitted to me or this won’t end well for either of us.

“I’m sorry.” I hesitate before I say what I know I have to say next. “We can stop. We should stop.” Her head shakes like she wants to say no, but she’s silent. “I don’t want to hurt you. I know your family is the most important thing to you. I get it.” I tell her, and I am sincere, no matter how disappointed I am to say it.

“It is. I love my family.” She finally releases me to wipe tears from her face and I take a step back from her.

“I don’t think any less of you for being with me like this, if that helps.” I assure her.

“I don’t know that I want to stop this.” She says, shaking her head. She’s not looking at me now. “I’m having a hard time accepting that I want you in this way.” She whispers. I can tell it was hard for her to admit that last part.

“Then what do you want to do? What do you want me to do?” I shrug. Feeling like she invited me back, I step closer again.

She looks up to me with a daring expression and places a hand on my chest to push me back in the nicest way possible. “Just give me a couple of days.”

“A couple days?” I try to step closer again and she surprisingly lets me.

“Just,” she pauses, looking at her hand still on my chest. “Please.” Her eyes are begging for me to pause, but I know what she almanbahis really wants right now. Probably the same thing that I want.

“A couple days,” her voice is smaller, still pleading.

*

I gave Jenny a couple days like she had asked. Only a couple days turned into three days. Then three days turned into five days. By then, I was already back home with my mom and dad. My grandmother was out of the hospital and my parents brought her back in state. Now she’s living 20 minutes away in a nursing home. I visited her once since then with my mom, but she hardly recognized me. It was difficult accepting that reality. I wanted to talk to Jenny about it. I don’t know why. But we weren’t talking, so I couldn’t.

Halloween came and went. I braved going back to their house to hang out with Michael a few weekends in a row, but it was clear Jenny was blowing me off.

I was upset. The most confused kind of horny I had ever felt. I jerked off a lot during that time in between. I would think about how when Jenny was in my bedroom, almost reliving the moment perfectly. Sometimes I would even think about things I should have tried with her then, but didn’t.

November crawled by with the pace of a slug and I found that Michael wanted to come over to my house more so than he wanted me to go to his. I think he just wanted to get out of his house. Which sucked.

I hadn’t seen Jenny in over a month at this point. Thanksgiving break was a blur and before I knew it, I was back in school daydreaming about different sex positions in the middle of class. I was doing poor in most of my classes due to having great difficulty concentrating. At home, I was jerking off more than ever before. Morning, afternoon, night. Whenever I got the chance. Sometimes I would brave the bathroom at school when it became too much and I couldn’t wait to get home to do it. I was a mess in November.

In December, it was awkward when Anna and I met again. We had heavy snow fall on the first Friday of the month right when school was letting out for the day. My mom and dad weren’t home for the evening yet because of a Christmas dinner for my dad’s work. I heard a loud knock downstairs. Thinking they were back early and forgot their key, I rushed downstairs and opened the kitchen door without peeking through the closed curtain. A short, small framed Anna was standing there under the glow of the porch light, a fresh blanket of snow in the yard behind her with her boot tracks trailing where she had walked through it.

“Hey,” I greet her, surprised. Confused.

“Hey.” She gives a small wave and only stands there. Why is she here? “It’s cold. Can I come inside?” She asks.

“Uhm,” I look over my shoulder, knowing I have the house to myself right now. Still very confused as to why she is here with no Michael in sight.

“Michael told me to meet him here.” She elaborates once she notices my confusion.

“Oh,” I open the door a little wider. Makes since, I guess. How else would she know I lived here if not for Michael telling her? “And where is Michael?” I ask, glancing toward the dark ally just past the backyard, but there is no sign of him or anyone still. She steps inside and looks around the kitchen. I close the door, leaving it unlocked for whenever Michael decides to show.

Anna shrugs, “Your guess is as good as mine. I thought he would already be here.”

“I’ll call him.” I say.

“You have a bathroom I can use?”

“Down that hall,” I point, “first door on the left.”

I pull my phone out of my pocket while she slips her wet, squeaky boots off on the mat. As it’s ringing for Michael, I watch her as she walks away. The bathroom light turns on, illuminating the hallway before she steps inside. I stand by my initial thought of her when we met, she is naturally beautiful. I can see why Michael is drawn to her. Vivid memories emerge from that night Michael and I had our way with her outside the primary school because that’s what she wanted from us. Why did I agree to that again? I still can’t believe it happened.

“I’m almost there.” Michael says when he answers my call, pushing away my memory of when I first met Anna.

“Did I forget you were supposed to come over?” I’m sarcastic with him.

“Dude chill,” he laughs, “I’m walking. About 10 minutes away. Is Anna there yet?”

“Yah. Why aren’t you driving?” I ask, knowing he has since gotten his learners permit.

“Mom wouldn’t let me take the car. Something about it being too late, blah blah blah. She’s been unbearable lately. I didn’t even want to ask her to drive me this time.” He says.

Huh, wonder what he means by that? “Unbearable how?” I’m careful with my words.

“I don’t know, man,” Michael starts to cough and I hold the phone away from my ear. Anna opens the bathroom door and steps out, the sound of the toilet refilling with water loud behind her.

I teeter my phone back and forth at her and mouth Michaels name. She steps toward me and takes it.

“Almost here?” Her voice is soft and sweet when she almanbahis giriş talks to him. She doesn’t talk to him now like how she did that night the three of us were together. Girls are weird. But I can hear Michael’s voice change an octave too and roll my eyes, making sure Anna doesn’t see.

“Okay, see you in a little bit.” She ends the call and hands my phone back over. “Thanks.”

We fall into an awkward silence while standing in my parent’s small kitchen. Anna looks around at the several rooster trinkets my mom has decorated with, including a rooster and hen salt and pepper shaker set on the glass stove top.

“Want to go up and wait on him?” I point toward the ceiling. Anna nods. She follows close behind me as we come up the stairs. The ceiling light is off in my room when we walk in. I immediately turn it on, blinding as it is. I will not be in a dark room with my best friend’s girlfriend that I’ve messed around with before. It’s bad enough I’m alone with her at all right now.

Images of her sucking my cock on Michael’s couch flash in my mind. I have to stop these thoughts.

“So,” My voice cracks and I clear my throat, “how’ve you been?”

Anna sits at the end of my bed and examines my bedroom. It’s a mix of tidy and messy at the moment. I’m not too worried about her wandering eyes.

“Fine,” she says, small smile and all. This is not the same girl I met a few months back. Maybe that’s a good thing. “Is it bad that all I can think about right now is when the three of us messed around that one night?” And there she is. Yeah, this is the same girl.

Not expecting that she was going to bring it up at all, I’m at a loss for words. My face must look so dumb right now.

“Music?” I ask after a moment of saying absolutely nothing in reply. I grab the stereo remote on my dresser and quickly turn on the radio. The local pop station comes through the speakers and I switch the volume to a comfortable low.

“Was I that bad?” She asks with an innocent grin.

“No,” I answer by reflex. When really, I shouldn’t have answered that at all. She baited me with the question. “I mean, we probably shouldn’t talk about it. You know? You’re dating Michael.”

She nods. “I’m just saying I remember that night very well, and how you made me feel.” She says, and as if it’s an after thought, she adds, “Both of you.” She rubs her thighs together sitting there at the edge of my bed. Horny as hell, still being deprived of anything from Jenny for months, I cross my arms and lean back against my dresser.

I don’t know what Anna is trying, or if she is actually trying anything, but I won’t additionally betray Michael in this way. Not with his girlfriend. Not after having sex with his mom.

“Everything going good with Michael?” I change the subject. Why are we in my bedroom again? How did I let that happen? Right. It was my idea. We should have waited to come up until after Michael got here.

“Yeah.” She looks down. This is awkward. She doesn’t say anything else. I try to keep her talking until Michael gets here, which should be any minute now, I hope.

“I never see you around school. Did you graduate already?” I never thought to ask her or Michael that night. She’s probably a little older. I remember her fixating on mine and Michaels age, but maybe she was only checking before we did anything.

“Michael said you space out a lot,” she says.

Huh? I cock my head to the side and wonder what she could mean by that.

“Oh, no,” she holds her hands out defensively and smiles, “That wasn’t a jab or anything. I just meant, I remember talking about this that night. I told you guys I was 23 when we were walking and when Michael and I were trying to talk to you, you were in your head or something. That’s what he said anyway. I just turned 24 in November.”

I guess I do space out a lot, but I never had someone bring it up so directly. I don’t remember that conversation at all.

I think about Jenny while looking at Anna sitting at the foot of my bed. How I ate Jenny out twice that evening right there. I wonder if it’ll ever happen again. That’s a thought that’s been haunting me lately the longer she hasn’t spoke with me. I may never have sex with her again. I would be crushed if that were the case. I need to try to reach out to her, if anything, just to talk it out.

I need closure. And whether Jenny wants to admit it or not, she needs it too.

“Sorry,” I apologize to Anna for spacing out, because I just did it again.

“It’s okay.”

“Why were you guys coming over here again?” I ask, knowing it was never really explained why. Michael knows how my mom is if it’s this late and he’s over just to visit. Not to mention Anna being here too. A girl. I’ll never hear the end of it.

“Michael wanted to.” She says, “He didn’t want to be at his house. Something about his mom being depressed. I don’t blame her. For how long her husband is gone throughout the year, I’d feel the same way.”

“Depressed?”

She nods, “That’s what Michael almanbahis giriş said.”

“Hm,” I stare at a random stain on the rug in front of my dresser. “That’s rough.” I need to see her soon. I have to talk to her. At least about this. If she’s depressed, it has to be because of what we did and she’s still not handling it well.

“Honey, I’m home!” Michael shouts from downstairs and the back door squeaks then slams shut.

“Up here!” I call back.

Michael’s heavy steps announce his arrival on the floor in seconds. He rounds the corner into my room and immediately heads to Anna. “What’s up, Matt?” He says without sparing me a glance.

I nod at him, even though he still isn’t looking at me. He’s gentle when he grabs Anna’s face and kisses her. “Hi.” He says, looking down at her.

Her expression is different now, more like a loving girlfriend. “Hi.” She says in return. “You’re cold.” She complains as he pushes his face into her neck. He takes his jacket off, never leaving her side, and throws it to the floor.

“Really?” He rubs his nose into the side of her face. “You’re warm.”

Anna yelps and falls back on my bed laughing. Michael follows her down, hovering over her body. Is that what Jenny and I looked like, I wonder? Only less clothes?

I take this opportunity to move the clean clothes I put on my computer chair days ago to the floor in front of my dresser. I sit down in the chair, ignoring the flirty couple having fun on my bed.

“Stop!” Anna laughs and her words are muffled with what sounds like another kiss.

“I missed you.” Michael mumbles against her neck. I risk a glance in their direction and his mouth is at her neck and I watch him kiss the flushed skin there.

Anna’s eyes are glued to me. I don’t understand her fixation. Maybe this is one of her kinks. Does she want me to watch them?

I look away, focusing on my computer screen, checking random social media feeds I’ve been neglecting. I hear them both whispering, but can’t make out what they’re saying. I don’t risk a glance, I know Anna will be looking.

“So your parent’s car wasn’t in the driveway, Matt.” Michael mentions. “Where are they on this nice Friday night?”

Still not looking over at them, I tell him, “Christmas dinner party for dads work. It’ll probably be late when they get home.”

“Interesting.” Michael says. I glance over, being sure to only look at him, but my eyes are drawn to his hand rubbing on Anna’s thigh. He’s dangerously close to touching in between her legs, but he doesn’t.

“What’s the plan?” I ask. “Want to watch a movie or something?”

“Nah,” Michael returns his attention to Anna. Their position has somewhat changed. Instead of laying on my bed from head to the foot, they’ve sprawled themselves out in the opposite direction with their legs hanging over the side. Michael has his arms underneath her back, both of them in a somewhat missionary position.

“Did you just come over to use my bed, then?” I joke, half serious.

“I mean it didn’t look like you were using it,” Michael jabs back at me. If only he knew who I recently shared my bed with. The silence between us is thick. I’m not amused.

“Be nice,” Anna scolds him. Her hand rubs up and down Michael’s back, forcing him to relax into her. He turns his head away from me, laying on her chest.

“Yes, ma’am.” I hear him mumble.

Anna looks at me and her hands run up to the back of Michael’s neck and thread into his hair. He groans as he pushes his body against hers. I would have missed it if I wasn’t watching Anna’s reaction to the move.

I’m not going to lie, I’m feeling a little awkward being the third wheel in this situation, but this is getting me aroused. Although, I feel like I’ve been in a constant state of arousal for the last few months now with only memories of what Jenny and I did, this feels different.

“Maybe you guys would like some privacy?” I call out the situation directly. Maybe they will stop.

Neither of them speak to acknowledge me, but Anna does shake her head at me, continuing her scalp massage on her boyfriend. Well that didn’t work. I sit back in my computer chair and look at the screen again.

Mindlessly scrolling through an Instagram feed with nothing interesting to keep my attention, I see out of the corner of my eye more movement from my bed. I look over and find Michael sitting up and looking down at Anna as he rubs her thighs. Her eyes are closed now as Michael lulls her with his hands to a state of what looks like pure relaxation.

I watch his hand move further up, touching her through the crotch of her jeans. Her chest rises and falls with her heavy breathing, eyes still closed. He remembers that I’m in here, right?

I look away, thinking that’s my cue to get out of here and I begin to stand up. “Don’t go.” Anna’s small voice speaks up from my bed. I pause and our eyes meet again. She’s convincing when she looks like this and is clearly giving me a direct request not to leave the room.

“Stay.” She says. Michael isn’t looking at me. His hand travels up Anna’s chest and he rubs his thumb across the hardened nipple hiding underneath her thick sweater. Her mouth opens momentarily out of the pleasure then she tries to regain a relaxed composure quickly after he moves his hand away.

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