Lust and Love Pt. 02

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When I awoke the next day around noon, I immediately noticed I was alone in the bedroom and still naked. I went down the stairs and retrieved my clothes from the living room. After dressing I walked through the downstairs, calling for Derek but he wasn’t there.

In the kitchen, I found a note he had left for me that read “Sorry Tris, had to run and didn’t wanna wake you. Help yourself to whatever you like.”

I smiled, thinking it was cute he left me a note instead of texting that. However, I didn’t linger very long. I had a paper to write and since my laptop was back at my dorm, I figured I’d go back and try to write it while Derek was out. That way I have all of break to do what I wanted, and hopefully what (or who) I wanted wanted to do what I wanted to.

As I walked back to my dorm, I was replaying the previous night’s events in my head. The encounter lasted a good while but the actual sex didnt last very long. But even still, it was mindblowing. Even beyond the physical, it felt so sensual and there was an ache I felt in my heart just thinking about Derek prematurely ejaculating from his excitement to be fucking me. An ache that hurt but in a good way.

I thought about texting Derek and telling him I’d left and why but I remembered he said he liked to chase. So I figured that was a bit of an indicator how I should handle the situation. I’d wait until he texted me when he got home.

But I waited all day and night for that text and it never came. I began to worry, wondering if maybe he’d realized he wasn’t into me. I wanted to text him so bad but I wasn’t going to be just another puppy dog begging for his attention. It took a long time for me to fall asleep that night and when I did, I didn’t sleep well. My anxiety was so high and I was feeling pretty stupid. I convinced myself he’d text me tomorrow just so I relaxed enough to drift off to sleep.

But I didn’t hear from him the next day and then all day the next either. I was so hurt and confused. I probably typed up a message and then deleted it about a dozen times over those couple of days. On that third day after, Tori ended up calling me and begging me to come out with her to another party at the same house as the other night. I finally agreed reluctantly and she came to my dorm to ensure that I got ready.

“We’re gonna make sure you’re looking cute, one of those boys has to be gay and we are going to get you a boyfriend before the end of the year!” Tori insisted.

I felt an awful twinge of hurt in the pit of my stomach and I knew it was because I’d already found the guy I wanted. But Tori’s brother didn’t seem to feel the same. Regardless, I was all for trying to look cute because I figured Derek would be there.

“Yeah I guess…be kind of hard considering I’m in the closet. But speaking of boyfriends, what happened with you and Stephen the other night?” I asked, trying to change the subject but also genuinely curious if she’d finally gone past second base.

Spoiler alert: she did not. I couldn’t help but laugh when she told me about how he practically begged her to sleep with him. I asked her if she was worried he’d lose interest and go after an easier girl.

“Not really, if he does then he isn’t the guy for me anyway. It’s not like I’m waiting for marriage but he hasn’t even asked me to be his girlfriend officially yet.” I always admired her self-assuredness and conviction. It seemed to run in the family.

“Right, why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free?” I joked with her.

“RUDE!” She exclaimed in mock outrage. “How dare you call me a cow…But on the whole, a pretty accurate observation. Guys are gross. Besides, I can’t leave you as the only virgin in our group can I?”

My face burned red hot and something in her eyes told me she registered it. But she didn’t say anything. Tori was a great friend, she’d never press me for anything I didn’t volunteer and I appreciated that about her. But my stomach bubbled with guilt knowing I’d slept with her brother.

Finally, she was satisfied with my look (which was the most stereotypically closeted twink look possible) and we made our way to the party.

“I wish John and Ana would go ahead and tell us they are fucking. What do they think they are, future Oscar winning actors or something?” Tori said.

“I know right, I don’t get why they haven’t told us,” I responded, before adding “but I’m sure they will when they are ready.” It was probably my own guilty conscience speaking. I didn’t like keeping things from Tori, especially something as big as this.

We continued to discuss their relationship and agreed they’d be a good match. We starting joking around a bit and by the time I got to the party, I was smiling. It was short lived.

When we walked into the house, of course the first person I see is Derek standing with his douchebag friends. We caught eachothers eye and my smile immediately fell. He looked like someone had just struck him in the face and it wasn’t a happy look istanbul travesti obviously. Of course, in typical Tori fashion she had to run over there and drag me with her.

“Big brother!” She shouted loudly as she threw her arms around him, intentionally trying to embarrass him as she always did. Derek half grinned, half grimaced.

“Annoying little sister!” He said back and picked her up. I remembered how he’d picked me up the other night and for some odd reason, I felt a twinge of jealousy. He looked at me.

“What’s up Tristan?” He said to me dispassionately and immediately I noticed him calling me by my first name.

“Not much,” is all I got out. I felt like I was gonna throw up. So he does regret the other night, I thought to myself. I excused myself, using the excuse of going to get a red solo cup of beer like the one in everybody elses hands.

I chugged my first cup from the keg and refilled it. I stood alone in the kitchen trying to collect myself for about ten minutes. I decided the only thing I could do is act like nothing happened and try to have fun…or at least appear to. I finished my second cup, refilled it again and grabbed an extra cup for Tori.

When I returned to the larger crowd in the living room, I immediately noticed Derek and Tori with the usual group of guys and girls surrounding them. Derek seemed like he was just soaking in the attention this time. I felt a sharp pain in my ribs before I pushed it from my mind and rejoined them.

Throughout the night, Derek would flirt hard with the girls and throw little snide comments my way. Subtle enough but still obviously shady to the point Tori kept throwing him confused looks. I did my best to laugh them off but it really did hurt. Bad.

“Hey Tori, why don’t you and Tristan just skip all the bullshit and fuck already? The sexual tension between yall is obvious,” one of Derek’s douchey friends said, knowing full well that wasn’t true but just trying to embarrass us. Derek, who had been concentrating on a conversation with a girl who was leaning all over him, lifted his head up and watched intently.

“Shut up. We’re just friends. And sorry Tris but I’m already seeing someone,” she said to me, kissing me on the cheek in a mock-apologetic way with a smirk.

“Well damn, that’s disappointing,” I said sarcastically back. Then I heard Derek speak up.

“Be careful Tori, bet Tristan will ditch you for disappointing him,” he said with a slight edge to his voice.

I was stung. I didn’t understand where it came from. It made no sense to me and I was kind of surprised. Like I said, he’d made some borderline rude comments but this is the first one that very clearly wasn’t some sort of joke.

“What’s that supposed to mean Derek?” I spat out with unintentional aggression.

“Ya’ll chill, Derek what’s gotten in t—” Tori started to say, looking from one of us to the other.

“I’m just saying, he seems fake to me. I get the vibe Tristan is a bit of a CLOSET asshole,” interrupted Derek, glaring at me and emphasizing the word closet.

Tears immediately welled up in my eyes and i threw my cup down on the ground followed by turning around as quickly as possible to walk away, hoping to get away before anyone realized I was moreso hurt than simply pissed. But it was definitely a mix of both and I cry when I’m angry anyway.

As I got to the door, I heard Tori go off on Derek. By the time I’d slammed the door behind me, tears were rolling down my face. I was pissed but mostly, I’d never felt so hurt.

I had thick skin for sure, but it was different with Derek. I’d let my guard down some with him and I felt like I could trust him. He’d made me feel so secure with him but now, I wondered how someone who seemed so sweet could end up being so cruel.

It wasn’t even what he’d said, it was just the general attitude he had after I gave my virginity to him. Despite how it may look, I was very much in the same boat as Tori in wanting my first time to mean something. And Derek’s words had disarmed me enough to believe that he was the guy I wanted to give everything I had to. Maybe that’s silly since I gave it up to him at the first chance but its not like we’d just met. It felt real at the time.

I was about halfway back to my dorm when I heard feet shuffling behind me and heard a familiar voice.

“Tristan! Tristan wait!” It was Derek. I kept walking.

“Leave me alone Derek,” I said loudly.

“No, we need to talk!” He fired back authoritatively, right behind me at this point.

“No, you NEED to leave me alone,” I sobbed, starting to cry again. He grabbed my arm and stopped, stopping me as well.

“I left you alone for three days, you owe me an explanation,” he said rather angrily.

“For what?! Gonna claim I seduced you? I took advantage of you? And thats why youre being such a dick to me? Leave me alone Derek,” I said, glaring at him. Silent tears shining in my eyes, he looked taken aback.

“What are you even istanbul travestileri talking about?” He asked me, looking a littled stunned.

“Oh yeah right, I’m sure you were just so drunk you don’t even remember. That’s rich….to think I actually liked you, you’re such an asshole!” I said, starting to cry again.

“Hey,” he started angrily, “I told you how I felt that night! You didn’t!”

I kept crying softly, unable to speak for a moment. Derek’s face softened and, when he spoke again, so did his voice.

“Tris… if you liked me, why did you not even try to text me once?”

“You didn’t text me! All that ‘I like to chase sometimes’ bullshit, I wasn’t about to beg for attention! And I’m glad I didn’t, you turned out to be such a jerk” I said, the last couple words almost like a whine as my crying picked up again.

“Well, you’re the one who ditched me! I told you I didn’t mean to…you know…so fast…I just felt like you must not have had a good time and werent interested anymore.”

The words fell on me kind of oddly. I couldn’t understand how a guy like him could be so insecure about premature ejaculation. In the moment, I had understood but for it to affect him like this days later…it was almost endearing in a weird way, not that I saw it like that as tears rolled down my face.

“You didn’t have to be such a jerk to me tonight though, you could have tried to talk to me first instead of doing that in front of everybody,” I exclaimed, still sobbing a little.

“Tris…stop crying, please. I’m sorry, you’re right. I get insecure like everybody else sometimes too you know? Please stop crying,” he pleaded and wrapped me up in a tight hug.

As hurt as I was, I just melted right into him. He was so much taller than me, my head was buried into his chest but my adrenaline was still pumping. I was still crying and shaking violently.

“Come back to my place…please Tris. I’m so so so sorry. Give me a second chance please” he practically was begging me and, let’s be honest, there was no way I could have found the strength to say no. Even after all that had transpired in the last couple days and especially tonight, I was still so into him.

I pulled away from his chest and, his arm around my shoulder, we turned around and started heading back to his place in silence. I was sort of stunned for a moment, I really didn’t understand how he could think I wasnt interested. He’s the kind of guy that could get whoever he wanted. But I thought about how the night and the next morning went and it started to make some sense. He must really like me to have been that upset with me…that thought cheered me up a little bit.

I was a little concerned someone would see us together, walking that way but I didn’t notice anybody as we walked. When we finally got to his place and inside the house, he spoke again.

“I really am so sorry Tris…I’ve been such a jerk tonight. Even if I was right and you weren’t interested, you didn’t deserve to be treated like that. I was just so hurt thinking about what I thought was going on. And a little embarrassed still I guess.”

“Derek, I don’t care if you cum quick every time we ever have sex. Seriously. I had a crush on you for who you are as a person, not for your sexual prowess. And I told you I had a great time” I said to him with a bit of exasperation.

“I know Tris, I know…it’s just that really has never happened to me before. And I’ve never been so up front about my feelings to someone in the middle of a hookup. It felt humiliating, I’m normally the one who gives someone an orgasm. I know it sounds shallow and a little conceited but it was just a new feeling and I didn’t know how to handle it. If I didnt like you so much, I’d have probably handled it better but I just wanted to please you and felt like I’d failed.”

“I understand but like I said, it wasn’t even something that crossed my mind. Just being with you felt good…And I should have told you I was leaving. I had a paper to write and wanted to get it over with so I could spend the whole break with you,” I explained to him. Derek turned a deep shade of red at my words.

“I guess I ruined that, didn’t I?” He mumbled, looking down between his feet looking ashamed. This made me feel like it was my turn to console him.

“We’re together now, aren’t we? It’s all worked out fine in the end,” I told him, taking a step towards him and wrapping my arms around his waist. I felt his whole body relax suddenly as he exhaled at my touch. He put his arms around my neck and leaned down onto me a little. I started rubbing his back, feeling his bulging muscles. We stayed locked in embrace for what felt like an hour.

“But please Derek,” I said as we separated finally, “never do something like that again. We need to communicate better if we are gonna see eachother. That goes for me too I guess. We’ve told eachother how we feel, we need to trust what we are told.”

He gave an apologetic, bashful smile travesti istanbul and agreed. That smile…I felt butterflies in my stomach for the first time since that first night.

“Ugh you’re so cute,” I told him, feeling totally relaxed with him again for the first time. He smiled wide as I threw myself back into his body and wrapped him tight again.

“So are you Tris…you have this affect on me that I can’t really explain.”

“I’m glad…well are you gonna carry me upstairs to your room or are you gonna make me walk?” I asked him as sweetly as I could manage.

“Oh you like when I carry you?” He asked me through a big smile. I looked up at him and I bit my bottom lip as I nodded my head ever so slightly in affirmation.

He picked me up with such force, hands under my armpits that he practically tossed me up like an oversized baby and then caught me with his arms under my butt and my legs wrapped around his waist. I leaned in and kissed him on the lips and we kissed as he carefully made his way up the stairs and into his bedroom.

When he got to the bed, he told me to watch my legs before spinning around and dropping straight on his back, me landing on top of him. He let out a soft grunting “oh” from the impact and we both giggled a bit.

We started kissing again, our tongues intertwined and our bodies lightly grinding into eachother. I felt Derek’s hands go inside the back of my pants as he started kneading both ass cheeks. His hands were so large, he was able to grip them so firmly that I gasped at the feeling.

We just laid there like that for well over an hour, kissing eachothers lips and neck. We ran our fingers through eachothers hair. I caressed his face, feeling a little bit of his scruff as we looked deeply into eachothers eyes. You’d have never thought that just a couple hours before, we both thought the other wasn’t into us.

Suddenly, Derek flipped me over to where I was under him. He grabbed both of my wrists and pinned them up over my head as he started to kiss my neck again. Then he kissed my armpit through my shirt and I squirmed and giggled, being so ticklish.

“Oh, you really are ticklish huh?” he asked me with a mischievous twinkle in his eyes. Before I could say anything he wiggled one of his fingers into my pit while holding my wrists with one hand. I scream-laughed and squirmed, trying to break free from his grip but he was so much stronger than me. Before I could start begging him to stop in between laughs, he quit, let my wrists go and smiled down at me.

“Don’tttt Derek,” I whined, but I was smiling. I loved how playful he was, how strong he was.

“I’m sorry, you’re just so cute when you try to overpower me,” he said with a smirk.

And with that, Derek practically ripped my shirt over my head and dove back down into my neck. I gasped, my body erupting into goosebumps.

After kissing my neck for a moment, he unbuttoned my pants and pulled them and my underwear off. My rock hard dick popped up and slapped my stomach with an audible smack. And then he took his shirt off and leaned back down over me, circling my nipples with his tongue. I’d never had it done to me before and it felt incredible. I gripped his hair tight and moaned.

I pulled my legs up and started trying to push his pants down with my feet with no success. I knew I couldn’t do it but hoped he’d get the message, which he did. He slipped his pants and underwear off and I saw his beautiful cock for the first time in 3 days. The head of his dick was like the spade on a playing card. His shaft was thick but his head was ever so slightly thicker at the bottom. His cock really was beautiful…and big.

I reached down between my legs where he was kneeling on the bed straight up on his knees and started pulling on his hard fat cock. He let out a gasp and watched me pull on it for a moment.

“Hey, one second!” He said to me and pulled out of my grasp and walked to his closet. He came back out with a bottle of what ended up being lube.

“I got it the other day while I was out and you were here asleep…I don’t want to hurt you again,” he said sweetly as he crawled back onto the bed.

I didn’t say anything back, I just pulled his head to my face and kissed him deeply to express my appreciation for his thoughtfulness. And then he started to kiss his way down my body before pushing my legs up and I knew what was coming. My body shivered in anticipation. I felt his wet tongue against my hole and immediately moaned.

“Your hole is so sexy, so pink and tight,” Derek told me from between my legs before diving back down to continue his work.

My hand found the back of Derek’s head and pushed his face into my ass. Derek stuck his tongue as deep as he could get into me as I stroked his hair.

Without warning, Derek scooped me up like a wrestler performing a powerbomb and turned over on his back with me on top of him.

“Sit on my face babe,” he directed me. And so I faced away from him, scooted back on my knees and leaned over his body and with my ass in front of his face.

I thought I did it right but then Derek grabbed me by the hips, pulled me back even further and pressed me hard onto his face. I felt his tongue enter me deeper than he had before.

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