I Long for a Man

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Before my divorce, when I was happily married, I kept a secret from my wife. I loved my wife, enjoyed sex with her, enjoyed her company but something was missing in my life. I wanted sex with a man. I’d had several men before I met my wife, a long time ago and she knew nothing of that.

I suppressed these feelings for a long time but it wasn’t something that would go away. The first few years of marriage, I ignored it and got on with my life. But later in life, these feelings for a man would grow and grow until I had to do something about it.

It wasn’t easy finding a man. I was straight looking and acting and found it really difficult to get a partner. I tried a gay sauna once, had a lot of fun, but it wasn’t what I was looking for. I tried to keep the feelings away for a while but they still kept coming and I got more and more frustrated over the years.

One day, I saw an advert in the paper for psychic readings. I called the number and arranged an appointment. It would be great to know what the future has in store for me. Next day, I was walking along a Perth Street, looking for the address. I walked in and met the psychic. He shuffled a pack of tarot cards and told me to pick a few of them. The guy was older than me, out of shape and wasn’t the most handsome of people. Just an ordinary guy.

I got the usual story, ‘life was challenging but you’ll soon get over it, money is coming your way, you are going to go on a journey, new friends just around the corner,’ etc. All the usual stuff. He then said he does energy healing, heat would come from his hands and make the person feel better. He convinced me to agree to try it.

I lay on the floor and he told me to close my eyes and relax. I felt nothing, no heat, no energy, nothing at all. Maybe it was my fault. It was relaxing though, I’ll say that. He startled me from my relaxed mind and said, ‘you’re getting quite hard.’ I didn’t know what he meant so I didn’t know what to say. Was he talking about my energy levels? Suddenly, I felt his hand on my groin, he left it there and told me I was getting hard again. God, that was exciting.

I wasn’t getting hard, as he was saying, although now his hand was on me, I could feel my cock stirring. I lay there, eyes closed, completely relaxed, beginning to get hard and thinking, yes, I want this. I never for one moment thought I would have a liaison with a guy after going to get my cards read. So yes, I was getting turned on.

He slowly unzipped me, taking out my cock and gripping it. I was really getting turned on now. My cock was rock hard. I got on to my knees and he stood up. I fondled his cock, slowly taking it out of his trousers. He was hard, I moaned and felt the thrills running down my back. He was quite small, disappointingly small, I thought. Never mind, it was a cock and this was what I needed.

I wanked him, teasing him with my tongue. I licked the head of his cock, slowly taking him into my mouth. Immediately he spurted in my mouth. I choked as he took me by surprise, spunk dripping down my mouth. There was no warning at all. Normally I can tell when a guy is about to cum but there were no signs at all. I hadn’t even had time get much of his cock in my mouth. God, premature ejaculation. It was nice though, I get so turned on by an erection and go wild when I feel it spunking in me. So, I was turned on, looking at him to see if he would suck me.

He went completely weird. In a right panic. He quickly zipped his cock up, pulled me up off my knees and said I had to go. ‘Quickly, before the client comes, go, go, go,’ he said. I asked him what he meant and he said he had just remembered he had a client coming.

No, the guy had come and now the excitement for him was over. He just wanted me to go. I was a little bit annoyed. I zipped myself up, looked at him and walked out. He followed me, tapping my back to hurry me along.

I spat whatever spunk was left in my mouth into the gutter. The bastard, I thought. Fucking just used me. Another one to put down to experience. My passion for a man had suddenly died down. For a while. I know it will come back again. I needed to just get on with my life for the moment.

A few months later and I was again thinking about men all the time. I would look at their groins as they walked in the street. I would imagine what they would look like undressed. I would fantasize about being with a man, being taken, sucking cock, exploding into a guy’s mouth. Something needed to be done about it.

Having had my fingers burnt with the psychic, I wondered how to meet a man. Someone nice who understands the need I have to enjoy a man and for a man to enjoy me. I placed an advert in the lonely hearts column and was surprised by the response. I managed to keep the letters safe from my wife, she had no idea and it needed to stay like that.

Some of the replies were just not suitable at all. Some were ridiculous but one or two did stand out. One was from a farmer, thirty miles from bahis firmaları where I lived in Edinburgh. He wrote a charming letter, very open and friendly and, to the point. He was about my age, mid forties, well-built and single. I used to work on a farm years ago so this guy, who called himself Malcolm, immediately appealed to me. He had given his telephone number in the letter and closed it by saying he hoped to hear from me.

I plucked up the courage to call him. Twice I tried and there was no answer. The following day, I tried again and he answered. I hesitated, wondering what to say. Finally, I just came out with it, ‘I’m the guy from the lonely hearts,’ I explained. He was very pleasant on the phone, in fact we chatted for ages. I explained that I had a very strong desire to be with a man and had to do something about it, hence my advert. He sounded great, he understood and agreed to meet the following day at his farm.

I was so excited, I just couldn’t wait. Tomorrow, I was going to be with a man. I would shut my eyes and imagine what was going to happen with him. My wife noticed I was quite sprightly and wondered why. I felt bad that I was about to cheat on her, again.

After a sleepless night, I got up early, checking again the best route on the map. I was seeing him at eleven in the morning, God, I couldn’t wait. I had promised him a sensual massage and bought juniper scented oil for him. I kept it in the car so my wife wouldn’t see it. I would find it difficult to explain if she did find it. I left early, not at all wanting to be late. I had memorized the map so I knew where I was going. I pulled over in a lay by because I was too early. I put the seat back and closed my eyes. I dreamed of being taken by a strong man, I dreamed of cumming in his mouth. God, I was excited, I really was.

Finally, and feeling very nervous, I drove up the track to his farmhouse. The door opened as I pulled up. God, here he was. He was certainly six feet plus in height and looked very muscular. Farmers often are muscular with all the outdoor work they do. He had red hair. I’ve never been with a red-head. God, he was a real hunk. I was impressed.

I got out of the car as he walked towards me, he shook my hand warmly, the grip of a man. He invited me in and I followed him. I felt a shudder of excitement, this was really going to happen. He brought a pot of tea and laid it on the table, pouring out two cups. I relaxed as he spoke, feeling warm to the guy. He was interested in my life and I told him all about myself, listening intently to him as he told me his life story.

The ice broken, we relaxed and I reminded him I had promised him a lovely massage. I went to the car for the oil while he went to his bedroom to prepare. I returned with the oil, wondering where his bedroom was. He shouted and I followed the voice. He was lying face down on the bed. God, he was hairy and muscular. He was sex on legs. I undressed and kneeled either side of his legs. Slowly, I poured oil on his legs, carefully massaging it in to his skin. His muscles tensed as I worked on them. I took time over his back and neck, feeling my balls rubbing against his ass.

I was getting really turned on. Malcolm was seriously hunky. He was so muscular and hairy. With long powerful strokes, I worked on his back and shoulders. He moaned as I pummeled his back. I gently brushed my hand over his ass, gently and carefully, building up the excitement for him.

Eventually, I finished and asked him to turn over. I knelt to the side so he could turn. My God. This was the first look at his cock and it was huge. I gasped with surprise and he smiled. I had no idea he was so big. It wasn’t the biggest cock I had seen but it was a close second. It was gorgeous. He was semi hard, he was going to get bigger still.

I knelt either side of his thighs. My balls touched his cock as I rubbed his massive chest and arms. He had a fantastic body. I moaned with delight. I kept rubbing my balls against him, feeling him thrust his hips against me.

Finally, with Malcolm purring like a cat, I reached his cock. I squeezed it, wrapping both my hands around it. His head was throbbing as I squeezed his shaft. I was getting dizzy with lust. I noticed he had a mirror against the door. I looked at my reflection, sitting over him with his cock in my hands. I bent down and licked the tip of his cock. I squeezed the precum and smothered it over his head. I ran my fingers through the red hair on his chest, teasing his nipples. I wanked him, gazing at his huge cock. It was beautiful. I watched my reflection as my head bobbed up and down on his cock.

Besides a big cock, Malcolm also had the biggest pair of balls I have ever felt. They were enormous. I fondled his balls, sucking his cock and waited for the signs he was getting close. I was in another world, this was all my dreams come true. I was with a man, a real man. I knew he was close, he gripped my arm as I sucked him, moaning. His cock kaçak iddaa was getting stiffer. His balls moving in my hand. I rubbed him faster and faster and then, he blew up in my mouth. I was completely unprepared for the stream of spunk he shot in my mouth. I gagged and pulled his cock out of my mouth, just as he spurted again. It went all over my face. I recovered and had him back in my mouth as he spurted again, quickly swallowing before he squirted some more. I had never seen anything like it, there was masses of hot spunk. I swallowed as quickly as I could but more of it went down my chin. Two more times he spurted cum in my mouth. What an orgasm. My hands were soaking with spunk. I suppose, big balls mean loads of spunk. God, that was so exciting.

He lay beside me, catching his breath. I looked at him with his eyes almost closed. He was handsome. I held his cock and balls in my hands, feeling his cock soften. I had done that, I had got him hard and blew him. That’s his spunk all over my face. I wiped it with my fingers and licked them clean.

Malcolm recovered and turned his attention to me. I lay on my back and he lay on top of me. I could feel his full weight on me. I wrapped my arms and legs around him, pulling him close to me.

I felt fantastic as I held him, our cocks grinding against each other. We kissed and he played with my nipples. The stubble on his face tickled me as he slowly worked down my body with his tongue. I was rock hard for him. I wanted to be held by a guy and now I am. He took me in his mouth. God, that was so good. Yes, he knew how to use his tongue. All sorts of sensations were running through my body. I could feel his hard, strong hairy arms on my body. He was taking me on a journey, right through every fantasy I have ever had.

I told him I was cumming, I can’t stop myself now. I felt dizzy with pleasure. His lips were squeezing my cock head. I moaned, low and long and he took care of me. I spurted in his mouth. He moaned as I filled his mouth with my cum. God, my toes curled, it was such an intense feeling. I held his face as he sucked every drop from me.

He pulled back up the bed and lay on his back. I lay with my head on his chest and my arm around him. He wrapped a leg around me. With my other hand, I held his cock. Warm and safe in my hand. I drifted off, wrapped warmly in his arms. This is what I needed. Exactly what I needed. I breathed deeply, taking in his scent, tasting the spunk in my mouth. He kissed me and I could taste my spunk. It was so sweet.

I called Malcolm several times over the next few days to talk to him. I loved the sound of his voice, husky, warm and sexy. We had arranged to meet on the Saturday afternoon. I couldn’t wait.

I got to Malcolm’s farm early on the Saturday but that didn’t matter. He was up and about. We hugged and kissed each other, I gripped his arms, feeling his muscles. He led me into one of the farm buildings, it had bales of straw in it. God, he was going to take me, here in the barn.

He stripped off and I followed him. He sat me down on the bales and knelt between my legs. The straw was jaggy but that didn’t matter, it was exciting, being naked like this. He lay on the bales beside me and we sucked each others cock.

He got up and went to take something out of his jacket. It was lube. God, he’s going to fuck me. I went weak at the knees as I saw him walking towards me, his huge cock standing proud. He poured the lube over it, rubbing it all over his cock. My heart was hammering with excitement. I looked around at the bales, wondering where would be best. I knelt down, leaning over two bales, my ass ready for him.

He poured lube over my ass and between my legs. He thrust one, then two fingers inside me. I moaned, with my head buried in the straw. I felt him move behind me. God, any moment now. He pushed the head against my asshole, I tried to relax. Slowly he pushed into me. It was quite sore, I wasn’t sure I could take it all. He was very patient and careful. Slowly he continued to push, I groaned as I felt the head completely inside me. The difficult part was over now. I relaxed more and more as he pushed. I could feel his cock pushing against my stomach as he entered me.

I reminded myself this was what I wanted. I had a man and he was taking me in his strong arms and fucking me. Finally, he was in me and it felt fantastic. I took deep breaths, ready for what’s coming next. Slowly, he pulled back and then in again. It was sore, it made my eyes water. I tried to relax more, still he fucked me slowly. No, I can’t take it, it’s too sore, I’ll have to say something to him. However, I felt the signs, he was going to be cumming shortly. I smiled at that thought and that helped me relax again. I felt his cock stiffening inside me. He thrust deeper and deeper in me as he fucked me. At last, I felt him give a final thrust and he grunted, exploding in me. God, I could feel the spurt. I know he’ll have loads of spunk and I was getting kaçak bahis it. I could feel it pouring out of me as he fucked me. More lubrication as he pounded me.

He stopped, spent and stood there, his cock still in my ass. I could feel it softening and slipping out of me. Wow, that feels good, I relaxed as he slipped right out of me. I was so hard and Malcolm took care of that immediately. I lay back and enjoyed his mouth pleasuring me. He moaned as he took my spunk, I watched as he swallowed it. Afterwards, we lay there, naked on the straw.

It took three or four sessions before I could relax properly to accommodate him. He was very patient as we persevered. Eventually, and this was something I was really pleased about, I could relax almost immediately and he could slip in with just a couple of strokes. Well, I just loved that. He would take me, fuck me, anywhere around the farm, indoors or outdoors. He loved to fuck and I loved to be fucked, we were both happy. I loved being sucked and he loved to suck. We were made for each other.

One day I was in the cattle shed watching the calves eating. I was leaning on the rail. Malcolm came up behind me, undid my belt and pulled down my trousers. My hands were still on the rail, my ass pointing up. He pulled his cock out of his trousers, poured lube over it and slipped it inside me. He was still dressed. I bent over, pushing against each thrust of his. I get so turned on at seeing a hard cock, I just can’t help myself. And when it spunks, well, I go weak at the knees. I was getting so much pleasure being taken anywhere and everywhere by this man. I almost faint at the thought, the feeling of his huge cock thrusting and spurting his hot cum inside me. He could have me whenever he likes, I was so excited and content. He loved to suck me off and he was good at it. Slowly we got to understand each other’s needs and met them.

I had hot man sex pretty much whenever I wanted it. This was working out well for everyone. I was so much happier in the home that my wife noticed and she was pleased about it. However, she didn’t know why I was so happy.

As time went on, I felt more and more guilty about cheating on my wife. She suspected nothing and she would be shocked, hurt and angry if she knew what Malcolm and I got up to. Slowly, over a few months, my need for a man, that latent desire that frustrates me every year, was dying down. The sex with Malcolm was still great but the frequency died down. He could see the change in me too. I guess I’m bisexual, not a hundred percent gay. I have needs for a man and these needs have been met, for now.

One day, while we stood in the bathroom washing each others cock, looking at each other in the mirror, I told him I maybe needed to cool things a little. For now. For the sake of my wife. I would miss him. God, I would miss him. For now, I had to say goodbye.

We soon met up after I said we should cool things. We couldn’t stop ourselves. I had a choice. Stay with my wife or commit to Malcolm. Gay or straight?, that’s the choice. But it’s not the only choice. I could have them both by just keeping things as they are. I guess I am bisexual. Wanting the best of both worlds. Was there anything wrong with that?

So, after one last session when he, again, took me against the kitchen sink with my trousers round my feet, his arms around me and his cock deep inside me, I realized I needed to make a choice. I had to go back to my wife and family. Malcolm understood and assured me anytime I wanted fucked, just give him a call. I promised I would.

That moment came about a year later when I had the overpowering urge again. I called Malcolm and he answered. He was pleased to hear from me but told me he had a partner now. I was too late, he had committed to someone else. Maybe for the best. Good luck to him, and the man who gets to enjoy his huge cock.

I still had the urge. I needed another encounter with a man. I am always going to have that need. Not all the time, but often enough. I can’t cheat on my wife again. Should I confide in her? Should I just get on with it and say nothing? It would get messy if my wife found out. A divorce is a pain you want to avoid.

Maybe, instead of going to the sauna for a quick fix, I should just wait, and see what life places in front of me. Maybe another lonely heart advert, it worked the last time. But what do I have to offer a man? Married with children, just looking for a casual fling, who’s going to want that? The older I get, the more I don’t want a quick shag. I want the intimacy, the excitement. I wanted more but had little to offer in return. I couldn’t give commitment and that’s what men my age want. Malcolm wanted commitment, I couldn’t give it.

I didn’t want the horrors of a divorce. I still love my wife. She expects to grow old with me. She hasn’t got a clue about my other life. I need to keep it separate. I shouldn’t need to keep denying myself. She must never find out. God, I was so confused. I need a man and I need my wife too.

So, for the time being, I should just get on with my life, waiting and hoping for a man to come along again. As a psychic once said, ‘New friends just around the corner.’ How ironic.

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