Dear John–part 12 of 15

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CHAPTER 34 I couldn’t believe it. The woman was deliberately figuring out ways to hurt me. If not by her words then her influence with the children, I was being cut out of their lives. I knew the children, the twins for sure, wouldn’t actually realize it, or believe me if I pointed such out; but it was a dead-mortal-lead-pipe cinch that that was exactly what Abigail Cord was doing. Well fuck her and the wild ass of Borneo that she rode in on. My hate for her would never die. Oh no, it would indeed not ever die.I looked over at my sleeping wife. She did not deserve my angst. She deserved a man who was focused on her and only her. I determined to do just that from now on. I no longer had a family in Phoenix. They could all rot for all I cared. Was I being selfish and bitter? Many would say that I was. But, all the hot brown stuff that had been dumped on me was finally making an impact. I couldn’t deal with it anymore. I might be ugly but I was still a human being and deserved to at least be respected, and I wasn’t and hadn’t been, nor ever would be by the—how did Mia phrase it, oh yes—the evil witch of the East.She stirred. “Good morning Mister Bradshaw,” she said.“And good morning to you, Missus Bradshaw. No big hurry, but we’re going out to breakfast,” I said.“Sounds good,” she said. “Denny’s?”“I’m good with that. So yes, Denny’s it is.”The ride to the diner was quiet—at first. Then it was pregnant with meaning.“We’re about to have a serious conversation. That about right,” said Rina.“Yes,” I said, “very serious.”“Boy oh boy, she really stung you didn’t she,” said Rina, it was not a question.“Not so much her as her mother. Her mother is the one who put her up to it. It’s her mother that is cutting me out of her life, and would cut me out of all of their lives if she got the chance. Well, now she won’t have to work so hard at it. I’m giving her a clear field,” I said.******We pulled into the parking lot of the diner and three minutes later were sitting at a table toward the back of the place. Tables were better than booths for me; I didn’t have to muscle myself out of my chair.Melanie, her name tag announced left us menus, a coffee pot, and cups to make use of the coffee pot. We perused the menus.A few minutes later Melanie returned.“The lumberjack,” said Rina.“Me too,” I said. “Over medium on the eggs.” Rina nodded her agreement with me on the eggs. We always seemed to be able to read each other’s minds and agree on the same kinds of choices and things. She was twice the wife that Abigail ever was or could be. The best part was that I was certain that she would never leave me, and I sure as hell would never leave her.We were hungry so, so far there was not a lot of conversation while we were actually chowing down. But then we were at the after breakfast coffee drinking stage.“So husband mine, what’s next on the agenda?” said Rina.“We move,” I said. “We move far enough away so that it becomes a problem for them to bother us which I am sure they would do if we stay here. I’m fed up with the woman and everything Cord.”“You have any preference as to where this major choice in our physical venue might be?” she said.“I was going to kinda ask you that question,” I said, “I mean do you have any preference we might want to consider?” I said.“The coast,” she said. “Maybe we could get a place where we could kick back at the beach on a rare occasion. Whaddya think?”“That sounds good to me. With both vehicles, we should be able to be packed up and ready to role in a day,” I said.“Sounds good to me,” she said.We’d no more than gotten home than we started the packing. We’d been renting not leasing, so leaving wasn’t going to be any big deal. I was getting the clothes packed up while she was down at Lowe’s getting boxes we would need for the kitchen stuff and et cetera. We’d be gone in the morning, the early morning.******“What the hell!” Abigail didn’t quite scream. “He did what, said what!”“He was clearly hurt and upset. They just up and left as soon as I asked if he would be okay with Daddy walking Pendik escort bayan me down the aisle,” said Mia.“You told him he would still have a place of honor at your wedding right? I mean you made sure of that right?” She said.“Mom, of course I did. I’m no idiot. I told him he would be at the front table with all of us, the family. But it didn’t make any difference. He looked kind of funny at first, and then started in about how he was always getting shit on and he was tired of it and he was leaving and didn’t want to see any of us again: his meaning my words,” said Mia.“Oh my God. Shit, shit, shit!” said Abigail. “I was so sure that he would be agreeable being it is your day not his. I mean you guys were so close.”“’Were’ being the operative term: we aren’t anymore! He made the point that nobody had visited or contacted him in almost a year. And even so, he seemed to be okay about that at first, but then, well, not; I mean after I mentioned the walking down the aisle thing,” said Mia.“Have you talked to your sister?” said Abigail.“Not yet, she’s been out of town on some job for Daddy. I will be talking to her tomorrow or the next day. I don’t want to do this by phone, not even by phone,” said Mia, “Not this.” Her mother nodded.“Mom, what if he doesn’t even come to my wedding I would feel just awful!“Mort is actually thinking about trying to go to him and talk to him. Should I let him? I mean Mort…” said Mia.“I don’t know, Mia. I guess maybe it wouldn’t hurt. But he, your dad, just has to realize that your daddy deserves to be the one walking you down the aisle,” said Abigail.“Mom, what if they were to both walk me down the aisle? Wouldn’t that be a good way to do this? I mean I know we’ve talked about that a bit in the past, you me and Sarah,” said Mia.“No, this is one time when your daddy, finally gets some recognition for who he is. He is not just some Johnny come lately. He’s a good man a generous man and the right man for this duty, not your dad. And when I see your dad again, I’m sure as hell going to tell him that,” said Abigail Cord.******I would hear later that they had a great time. I also heard that Mia asked after me, not me and Rina, just me; that bothered me. Rina and I were one, a fact that apparently wasn’t recognized or cared about; and it bothered me a lot. But, we weren’t part of them anymore, so fuck ‘em! Oh, and how did I hear about all of this? Why from my old bud, Sergeant Jeffrey Michaels and his wife Harriet Michaels who had attended Mia and Mort’s wedding. And yes, my bud and Abigail’s soul sister had gotten married too; they’d eloped during the year of negligence by one and all just past. Well, Harriet was my ex’s best friend so maybe I had to give my bud a pass for going to a ceremony that I wouldn’t.******“Daddy. He’s not coming. I am so sad and angry and mixed up!” said Mia.“Yes, well it’s his choice, Mia. He was welcome to come and he knew that I know. I would have been happy to do a tandem with him; you know, like you and I have discussed. But, he had to be here to do that. So well, you did all you could,” said Owen Cord.“I guess,” she said.“Anyway, girl, you have to get in there and finish getting ready. I know Sarah was looking for you,” he said.******“He still might come,” said Sarah. “Stop worrying about it. If he doesn’t he doesn’t that’s all. I know you wanted to please Mom, Daddy, everybody; but that was just not possible. Relationships are almost always problematical.”“I guess,” said Mia. “But, Sarah, what if he doesn’t come. I am going to be so bummed.”“No you’re not! Mort deserves to be your focus today and for the next fifty years, not Dad or Daddy either. So, get that and enjoy the hell outta today,” said Sarah.“Okay. Sarah you are the greatest! The greatest sister in the world,” said Mia.She looked around one final time as they all took their seats at the table. No Dad was in evidence. But, Sarah was right. He hadn’t shown up, hadn’t been heard from, and so that was the end of the Bradshaw wing Escort Beykoz of the clan. It was sad, but today she would not allow herself to be sad. Not today.“What the bride of the day also noticed was the look on the face of her mother. She was angry and clearly so. Her ex-dad was going to hear from her at some point that was for damn sure, though Mia.******“Well today was the day,” I said. Rina looked over at me.“Yes,” she said. “You having second thoughts?”“No, no, I won’t kid you; I feel very sad that we weren’t welcome at the wedding; but I refuse to be a second class dad; I simply refuse,” said Sam. “So she can have him; they all can. I am not going to be an afterthought.”“Hmm,” she said.“What’s that supposed to mean,” said Sam.“Nothing. It’s just that I don’t think she didn’t want you to come. I think she did. But, she was trying to please everybody and didn’t realize that that was just not possible.“Sam, someday, not now, but someday, you’re going to need to mend those fences. Mia and Sarah are you’re daughters, not his not really. And Ronnie is your son, not his. You need to get that and claim your rightful place with them.1. then there is Sarah. Who’s going to be walking her down the aisle when she marries. They gonna cut you out there too?” said Rina.“They’re not going to cut me out. I’m cutting me out. I don’t want to be around any of them. They ignored me for a year. Yeah, yeah I know we kind of ignored them too. But they were the more at fault than were we. Anyway, that’s what I think,” I said.“Well, it might be treasonous, but I do hope Mia had a nice wedding, you know a good day. No woman should be sad on her wedding day. Family and friends might be at odds, but on a day like that, they need to come together and support the woman. Well that’s what I think,” said my ever lovin’.“No, no, you’re not a traitor. And, maybe someday, as you say, I’ll need to mend some fences. As for Sarah’s wedding, It’ll just be a replay of Mia’s I’m sure of that much. That’ll be Abigail’s influence I’m sure. But, as for that, it doesn’t matter. I know we’ve been written off by them by now. That’s a given,” I said.******“I’m going to find him and stomp on his weeny to make sure he understands just what a shit he is,” said Abigail.“You think that’s the best way to handle this?” said Owen, “because I don’t.”“Yes, sir, I do. He has to realize that he is not the only one with an ax to grind. Yes he’s hurt bad and his handicaps entitle him a lot of latitude, but there are limits,” she said.“I wonder if he knows that Sarah is planning her wedding in the not too distant future. How about if he walks her down the aisle?” said Owen.“It’s been almost a year, Owen. And anyway, that should be you doing that. You’re the one who’s done everything for the two of them, Sam Bradshaw, not so much. But, if that would ensure that there would finally be peace in the valley; I guess we could consider it; but in the end it would be Sarah’s choice, not his not ours,” she said.“I suppose,” he said. CHAPTER 35It’d been months since the great divide! I was almost forty and feeling older. Did any of it matter? Not really. Over the past while, my ass had damn near turned to concrete sitting in this goddamn chair. But I suppose it wasn’t all bad. I had a good woman. I had peace here in the San Fernando Valley of California. The weather was uniformly good. And I was eating regular. Hell, I had it made.But life is full of surprises and interruptions and distractions even here in our previously inviolate sanctuary. I say previously because I could see the man—he sure had aged—trudging up the walkway to our little two bedroom mid-range apartment complex. Oh him? Why Owen Cord of course.Rina was inside putting hot dogs together for our midday caloric crime.“Well, well, well, I guess there is just no way to escape a man when he’s got a much money as I’m sure you’ve got,” I said, as the man approached our gate.Our new place was a one story complex. It had the apartment’s patio in the front as Cevizli escort opposed to the more usual rear location.“Yes, I’m very well, thank you,” said Owen.Well, he was always quick with the retort.“And you’re here why after all of this time?” I said.“Look, can I come in. Standing out here in the walkway carrying on a conversation seems a bit odd or something,” he said.“Not to be obvious Mister Cord, but why after all of this time would you want to be bothering us?” I said.“It’s Sarah, she’s getting married—finally. She wants to see you,” he said. For the life of me I was pretty much instantly curious. I motioned him to come in a take a seat under my totally inadequate umbrella.“It’s lunch time. You wanna join us?” I said. He gave me a look.“Yes, sure, if your offering,” he said. I nodded.“Soups on,” yelled my wife from inside the house.He followed me in and the look on my wife’s face was totally precious.“Yes, it’s really him,” I said, “and no I hadn’t invited him. He looks older huh?” Okay I was being a trifle snide and daring him to reciprocate—memories of a spitting contest of a generation gone came flooding back. But, he didn’t pick up the gauntlet, not this time.“Hello to you, Rina. Hope you’re well,” he said.“And hello to you, Owen. I can’t say I’m not surprised,” she said.“Hmm, yes, I can imagine,” he said.“You’re having lunch with us?” she said, looking at me not him when she said it.“Yes,” I said, “he’s starving.”After the fact, He had appeared to have actually been hungry: he had three hot dogs; I only had two and the woman one.Done, he and I headed outside to talk under my still inadequate “sunbrella.”“And Sarah wanted to see me why?” I said. “She’s made no effort in over the past two years to do so; none of you have except Mia last year. So why now?”“It’s complicated, but there’s the wedding of course. And as hard as it may be for you to believe, you do come up in conversation fairly regularly. Oh, and not always in a positive vein I’d have to say if I’m going to be honest,” he said. “Oh, and Abigail wants to stomp on your weenie and get you to see reason, her exact words actually.”“Okay, sounds about right, like something she’d say about me or want to do to me. But, so, wedding or no wedding why? What’s complicated?” I said.“The whole clan knows how bummed you were about Mia choosing me over you. The two of them the twins figure, logically, that if you were to walk Sarah down the aisle that it would square things with you on that score. Plus, there is the matter of Ronald. Whom you barely know, and he wants to know you. He’s made that very clear actually,” said Owen.“And why would Ronald give a damn about me. I know you’ve all but brought the lot of them off with your big bucks and all of that,” I said.“Yes, they’ve all had pretty much everything that they’ve asked for or needed certainly. But, money isn’t the only thing there is to parenthood. Of course you can be forgiven for ignorance of those kinds of things since you—and it’s been your choice—chose to be absent from the lives of the children. I have damn little sympathy for you in that regard,” he said.“Hmm, so if I’m such a lousy father figure, and I will admit to that lack in my character, why have you bothered, I mean you, to come here and bother me?” I said.“The kids asked me too. They think that I have a better relationship with you than any of the rest of them. And yeah, I know how weird that sounds, but it is what they said, and it was them that prevailed upon me to find you and come out here to plead their case,” he said.“Well, you’ve failed. Your idea of a plea sucks, and I’m not interested in having my heart ripped out again. My face and body is bad enough; I don’t need to be humiliated and insulted anymore. Tell them that. Really, tell them that,” I said. “Nice seeing you, goodbye.”“What! You’re turning down your daughter when she is so willing…”“Yeah, to sacrifice herself to make me feel a little less bad. I don’t need no mercy shit from any of you. I’m not good enough to even get a phone call from any of you for all this time? And now you show up to tell me how lousy a dad I am and to allow me to lead the parade for one of my daughters! Well fuck you, mister rich guy. I don’t need your mercy, or your money, or any other of your phony bullshit. Get the hell away from my house! Like now!”

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