Carry It to Others

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At fifty, she could pass for forty. At five eleven, she easily gave the impression of being several inches taller, and most who met her would have thought her six foot three or six foot four, even when she wore flats. She was lean, triathlete lean, and often dressed to accentuate her slender legs and long torso.

Plus, when male colleagues would be around, she often wore three-inch pumps with chunky heels.

But at work, Hailey was all business. For the past two years, since she arrived from points south, she had become the top therapist for male veterans in the entire capital area. Her evaluations were always higher than all of her colleagues, across the various facilities the Veteran’s Administration maintained for their patients. And her results, buried in the databases of the government and the healthcare bureaucracies, showed that, among the tens of thousands of veterans seeking counseling services in the area, Hailey’s clients achieved, on average, more positive outcomes and more frequent positive outcomes than other patients receiving treatment from other therapists in the system.

Hailey had counseled and therapized many clients over her decade in social work, but the client populations in the capital area were a natural fit for her natural skills.

From her military bearing, her military posture, her military formality and utterly neutral affect during most of her therapeutic talk and counseling sessions, many of her clients inquired if Hailed had served.

“I was raised by a Veteran,” Hailey would reply. “My father was Army,” but that’s all she would say.

From the neutral tones of her clothes, the simplicity of her short hair cut, and the uniform of pants and breast-minimizing-and-hiding tops Hailey wore interchangeably to work each day, her clients wondered to themselves about her sexual preferences.

Hailey worked hard to drain all sexuality from her office, from her counseling room for group sessions, from all of the counseling and discussion and analysis she provided her clients.

She lived alone in a simple house on the exurban edge of the metroplex sprawl. Her adult children, pursuing their post-graduate educations, were busy in their own lives, and although they texted daily, they seldom visited, giving Hailey plenty of time for herself.

She knew that moving up to the capital area would provide her with the hunting she was looking for. With a population large enough and discreet enough, so that Hailey could finally realize the fantasies she had held on to throughout decades past; from long before meetings, and sobriety, and children and love and loss.

Most Friday nights, she’d leave the clinic, buy a pack of Newports at a gas station near the highway, then drive slow through the commuter traffic, window down low enough for her cigarette’s plume, until she crossed the arbitrary boundary between her consortium of Veteran’s Admin medical centers, into where the next territory began.

No passport needed, no papers to be shown, and Hailey was in a world beyond the restraints of her workweek.

It was as if her sensible Subaru drove Yeşilköy escort itself the rest of the way. The highway to a state road, then the first exit, then two traffic lights and then she had reached her destination. There was a Narcotics Anonymous meeting at eight that led to a nine-thirty Alcoholics Anonymous meeting, both in the same storefront church in a dying exurban shopping mall.

Hailey pulled into a spot in the back, away from the rest of the cars. The digital clock on her dashboard read 7:53.

The community around the mall where the meetings were had prospered in the last decade, settled by veterans participating in the more lucrative post-service careers within the military industrial complex, and the Friday meetings had a regular group of old drunks with thirty-plus year chips, and a reliable set of mostly heroin survivors at the opening narc-anon meeting. Hailey knew which ones were long-divorced or never-married and stable, which ones to shake hands with and then avoid, which ones to not shake hands with and avoid, and which ones were married but had the skills to handle a tasty temptation in the form of a woman twenty years younger who had enthusiasm their wives did not have anymore, who could handle the tricky test of their sobriety that Hailed would present for them, after a meeting in the shadows of the parking lot on a Friday night.

Hailey, despite decades of practicing rigorous honesty, would never say she set out to suck off the married sixty-year-old, thirty-plus-years-sober drunks in the front seats of her’s or their cars after those meetings. Hailey would say she went to a meeting someplace where she would not run into any of her patients. Someplace where all the veterans she met would not already know her from work, from her treating them, but she would never say that she was looking for a meeting heavy with Army vets and Army helicopter pilots.

But when Hailey’s life felt that fuck-it-and-run-feeling, she ran to the place that instinctively she knew she could be safe and appreciated and accepted, the warm laps and the gratitude of these gentlemen and the high-cabs of their vanity pickup trucks. Leather seats, hi-fi stereo, and a Veteran’s license plate.

Like her Dad, technically her adoptive dad, used to have.

Hailey might show up at these meetings once or twice a month, stay low key and to herself, but invariably, at the end of the meeting she would have picked her target and she seldom had to choose twice. Hailey knew the look to give, the look she was looking for back.

The way to hold her eyes. The way to hold her mouth, to position her lips, to hold her body and position herself. Giving only the smallest sign that there was an opening in her schedule immediately after the post-meeting coffee-klatch, if he was discreet enough to leave on his own and find her in the shadows of the parking lot.

Hailey had given it little conscious thought beforehand, but the only proof of premeditation was un-refutable: the skinny jeans she brought with her to work on Friday, when she went to work dressed as Yeşilyurt escort bayan usual in her drab and genderless and sexless uniform of pants and tops and neutrals and nothing remotely tight or clingy.

The skinny jeans she changed into late Friday afternoon, after she typed up all her notes for the week, entered them into the computer system, and all her colleagues had left.

Checking her butt in the ladies’ room mirror before she left, seeing that her black thong left no visible panty line.

The skinny jeans that she used to perfection to highlight her impossibly long and lean thighs, those hips still so slender after children and life and whatever.

Twice, the tallest men in the room had sided over to Hailey to chat her up after meetings. But Hailey knew how to shut them down quickly and politely, without ruffling them up and treating with delicacy their delicate, addict egos.

Tall was not what she was looking for, tall she had a plenty all on her own. Hailey knew instantly when she saw it–that right look of withered but not overly grizzled, of having lived and tried to have a good heart, of being on the path of rigorous honesty, self-reflection and self-acceptance, and was in the sweet spot just on the other side of sixty or sixty-five, the look in his face and bearing that made Hailey instantly know that she herself would enjoy the gift she was going to bestow upon him.

That she knew, in her heart of hearts, that he deserved. That her higher power had put her there to give.

Hailey liked their cocks because they showed their age so sweetly, so unpretentiously to her eyes and hands and mouth. Always hairy, never overly trimmed, Hailey savored the manly musk, the unmistakable scent. She knew that soft, curly hair must be largely gray, though in the dim of parking lot and its imperfect overhead lights, Hailey saw her partners in only the best, most flattering light.

Once she had them out, and they knew she was for real, they often popped a little pill, and while they waited for it to work, Hailey used her fingertips ever so gently and caressingly. They did not talk, and there was no sound other than their breathing and the words they would feel compelled to say because of how compelling Hailey’s mature and knowing touch was.

And when Hailey started sucking the red heads of their growing cocks, they always lost their minds.

Hailey kept her eyes open and looked at them while they so often closed their eyes and let the physical sensations she was giving them be the only thing they could focus on.

She loved the wrinkly faces and skin of these sixty and seventy year old men she blew so sweetly and freely. The shy way they let her take control of their still most precious part, the thing they had been so protective of and so lucky to return home with from wherever their country had sent them those years ago.

She loved their skin and the permanent lines creased into their skin; how undeniably older and more mature they looked and felt to her, how their skin proved that proof of age and life and survival.

And Escort Zeytinburnu she knew how intoxicating her younger, smoother skin was to them. That even though she had the beginning signs of crows’ feet and the other wrinkles of age that affected all women in time, even though she bore the marks and stripes and cellulite of age and motherhood, to men decades older than her, Hailey was a complete treat.

Softer and fresher and newer and their’s. Right there for their touch and taste.

Her soft cheeks, which they would kiss during the hot make-outs that often preceded Hailey’s cocksucking.

Her luxurious hair, while short, still had wonderful volume and texture that her impromptu lovers adored to feel in their fingers and even sometimes to pull tight in the ecstasy of their climaxes.

Her plump breasts in their D-cup bra, that her lovers got to squeeze and feel and caress and a few, usually on full moons when Hailey was feeling especially frisky (like most Tauruses are wont to feel at full moons), when Hailey might pop her thick nipples into the mouths of her greedily grateful and hungrily sucking lovers, giving these men the special intimacy to suck the same nipples that nursed Hailey’s three kids to healthy adulthood; the thick, pencil-eraser shaped nipples that were of far more than pencil eraser thickness and felt so good between the lips of these grateful, wonder-struck men.

She felt like a college girl to these old men, and she could feel that feeling from them, how by showing up and sweeping them off their feet, bye making it easy for them, she was taking them back to that younger, impulsive, instinct-and-hormone-ruled time of youth, when their natural feelings were also hopelessly tied to their addictions.

But now, decades later, Hailey was bringing them both back to that innocent place of play and exploration again. Of giving and touch and fun, with no worries and no baggage and no complications.

Hailey did have a sense of humor about it, especially when hooking up with fellow anonymous addicts for second and third times.

When she said their cocks out, she might say, “Remember, it works if you let me work it,” and he would laugh and then he would moan, because Hailey would have stuffed his entire seventy-year-old dick into her fifty-year-old mouth.

When they would shoot into her mouth, after she would swallow, Hailey might tell them, “Remember, keep coming back,” and smile and kiss the head of their shrinking erections.

“You should be the thirteenth step,” a witty one told her once. Often, these old men would suggest she become their sponsor–or they hers, but she always sweetly rebuffed them and then never sucked them off again, no matter how tight her skinny low-waisted jeans on those Friday nights.

One who knew her skills and her sweetness, and how many of his brother drunks this beauty, who appeared out of nowhere one night and then reappeared without warning or predictable pattern, had rewarded for working on their sobriety at the right place at the right time, asked Hailey one evening after she swallowed his cum in his truck, “what do you get out of this?”

Hailey, never one for much conversation in these encounters, as she thought of them, replied, “if you’ve had a spiritual awakening, carry it to others in need,” and then she gave his cock another, sweet suck before tucking him back into his boxers and pants.

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