Awakenings: Joanna

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Şub 15, 2022 // By:analsex // No Comment

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Worst Evening

It was a terrible night. Rain, hail, wind, you name it; it had everything. I squeezed my jacket closed tightly with my hands and tried to keep myself as small as possible against the punishing wind. My umbrella had given up at the very start, and my hat was probably somewhere halfway to Australia. And I live in Europe!

Just a short while ago my hair looked good, it was tied up in a really beautiful bun that the hairstylist spent almost an hour doing. I had a single pastel pink stripe running through it, and it contrasted really well with my black hair. Now it was just a mess of strands flying any and each way possible. My dress under my jacket was probably ruined, as well. It was a beautiful black dress that had one silver highlight on the left shoulder, opposite of my pink stripe on my hair.

I didn’t even want to think about my face and makeup!

It all started so well, so what went wrong? Was I really stupid enough that I hadn’t seen that coming? Everyone else seemed to have known, and I saw looks of pity everywhere I turned. I hated it. Why hadn’t any one of my friends said anything? For six months? Six months… So almost from the start… He never took me seriously, then.

I felt like crying, but I was too numb to care. I was cold to my bones and I could probably shake hail off myself for weeks to come. I just wanted to go home and forget the last year or so. Completely.

I wondered if I should start drinking. A full bottle of strong alcohol sounded pretty inviting right about then.

I steered away from my path and started to head towards the bar that’s near my place. At least it was closer than my place, and warm. I’d never drunk much before, so if the stories were to be believed, I could get drunk cheaply.

I stepped into the bar. It was dim, there was loud music playing, and the smell of alcohol lingered in the air. It was surprisingly clean though; from the inside it looked more like a nightclub than a bar. There was even a dance floor, although only one couple (who were hopelessly too drunk to dance) was dancing there. I tried to shake all the water and hail from me with little success.

I walked to the bar and sat down. Three people were sitting nearby; a woman and two guys. The other guy looked like… him, and it set my heart on fire again. I tried to fight the tears, but I had to give up and shed a few. I wiped them off and asked the bartender for a strong drink. I didn’t know any names, so I just asked for a strong one.

He looked at me with his eyebrow raised and asked me if I was sure. I nodded at him. Then I felt a touch on my shoulder. I glanced sideways and noticed it was the woman who was at the bar just a minute ago.

“Give her a Blue Angel, Jake,” she said. “On me.”

Her voice sounded beautiful. Full, warm, and bright. A voice fitting her. She looked striking, almost painfully beautiful. Her blonde hair framed her thin face like a painting. Her clear blue eyes glittered in the multitude of lights. Her beautiful, bright red lips were smiling a warm, genuine smile along with her eyes. She seemed to be slightly older than me; maybe five years, maybe ten, but no more. She looked at me with concern in her eyes and sat down.

“You look like shit, darling,” she said. “That’s a look people have when they’ve had their heart broken,” she continued. “Grab your drink and come to sit with me. I can share an ear and a shoulder. And maybe a paper towel for your makeup, may it Rest in Peace.”

I forced a grin on my face and looked at her. “Is it that bad?” I asked, fully knowing that it was. Probably even worse. I did have on waterproof makeup, but that rain and wind would go through steel and bone. A couple of layers of eyeliner, waterproof or not, was no match for it.

She looked at me and silently shook her head and closed her eyes. She put her hand on my shoulder.

“No,” she said and leaned in. “It’s much worse. Come now, darling. Gently,” she added and grabbed my hand, pulled me up from the chair, and led me to a secluded table at the corner of the bar.

It was slightly quieter there, but the smell of alcohol still lingered. It was probably part of the structure at this point. She sat down at the table and patted a chair next to her.

I had no idea what I was doing there at that point, so I just automatically obeyed her and sat down next to her. The chair was comfy, and I felt my tiredness and sadness coming back with a vengeance. I suppressed a sob and just leaned my head on my hands for a second, then took a sip from the drink.

It tasted sweet with a slight tinge of something warm. I actually liked the feeling. If this was a strong drink, I had no problem believing people could get used to it. There was a slight aftertaste of something unfamiliar, but it wasn’t overpowering. It tasted slightly of lemons and it had fizziness. I had flashbacks of drinking carbonized sodas when I was younger. Kinda like that, but with an unfamiliar aftertaste and warmness balıkesir escort to it. I can’t say it burned my throat, but it left a super-warm feeling in it afterward. A little stronger and it would have burned. Now it was just… kind of pleasant.

I sighed and glanced over at her. She was leaning on her hand and looking at me with her head tilted slightly and a weird expression on her face. I’d say ‘amused’ if she didn’t look so sad.

“That bad, eh?” she asked. “Don’t answer,” she added, “Let me guess. There was a man involved. A man that you’ve known for a while now, but not long enough for it to have been serious enough for the ‘marriage’ talk. No, I’d say… little less than a year? Maybe half a year, or slightly more?” she asked.

I stared at her, disbelieving. How could she know? How… “Is it written somewhere?” I asked quietly.

She laughed. A pleasant and vivid, warm laugh. It sounded like brightly colored flowers on a summer day. “No, no,” she said, still laughing. “It’s just that I’ve seen that look too many times before.

“Let me continue,” she said and smiled at me. “There was another woman involved, possibly multiples. For an extended amount of time, maybe even from before you met him. And nobody you thought of as friends told you anything, and then you found out by accident that he’s been cheating on you this whole time and your friends suck.”

She leaned her head on her palms and fluttered her eyelashes at me and smiled. “That’s about it, I’d guess,” she said.

I stared at her in disbelief. How could she… somebody told her? “Is this Hidden Camera?” I blurted out aloud. “Did somebody set me up? This is not fun anymore!” I said and took another sip from my drink.

“No, darling,” she said.

I was about to say something about her use of that word, but somehow it didn’t seem offensive coming from her lips. I decided against saying anything, and just took another sip.

“This is your first time in an establishment like this, yes?” she asked.

I looked at her with a straight face and just blurted out, “Alright, who are you and why do you know so much about me?” I was done being played with. Not again. Not after today. Not anyone. Not anyone.

“My name is Katherine,” she said in that beautiful voice of hers, “but you can call me Kat. I assure you I don’t know you, nor has anyone set me up in any way. I’m just too familiar with that look because I spend much of my time here. I’ve seen that look on so many young faces! And it’s almost always the same story – cheating men and shitty friends. You don’t look like that if you’ve lost a dog or gotten fired. The betrayal in the eyes, and the slumped shoulders, and the dead voice… that all speaks to me louder than you could scream about what happened,” she said.

I buried my face in my hands and let out a sob; I couldn’t help it anymore. She patted my shoulder gently. I had no idea why she was doing this. If she didn’t know me and this wasn’t a stupid joke played by one of my so-called friends… I didn’t know.

I raised my gaze and met hers. I wiped a tear from my eye and looked at her. “I’m Joanna,” I said. “But call me Jo.” I took a deep breath and continued, “Why are you doing this, Kat? Why pay for a stranger’s drink and listen to their woes? What’s in it for you? Are you going to rob me later?”

She laughed that bright laugh of hers again. Like butterflies dancing on flowers. “No, Jo, I’m not going to rob you,” she said gently. “To be perfectly honest, I don’t know. I don’t know what I’m doing or why. I don’t usually do this; I just look from the sides.

“But something about you just made me want to help you. Perhaps it was because I sensed it was your first time doing this, and I wanted to prevent you from getting horribly drunk and possibly passing out somewhere, and things getting even worse from there. Look around, Jo. These men here wouldn’t hesitate to take advantage of a drunk lady, at least someone as pretty as yourself. Some of them are here only because they wait for such an opportunity.”

I almost missed it, but I’d never been told that I’m pretty by another woman. Or as I thought about it, not any men either-without some agenda. I suddenly thought about something, and before I managed to stop myself, the question escaped my lips. “Are you a lesbian?” I asked.

It was her turn to be surprised. She quickly turned her face and looked directly into my eyes and made a really confused ‘huh?’ sound. She furrowed her eyebrows and opened her mouth to say something, then closed it, licked her lips, and stared at me again, stunned. She blinked a couple of times.

“Alright, …how?” she said. “I mean me figuring out that about you is something, but how did you figure that one out?”

“I’m so sorry!” I quickly blurt out. “I didn’t mean to… I mean… what? You are?” I said. I blinked twice and wondered myself how I figured it out.

We stared at each other for an awkward minute balıkesir escort bayan or two.

“So… are you here for the same reason they are?” I asked and nodded towards the drunk guys.

She smiled at me and it somehow made me feel better. “No,” she said, and shook her head. “No, I’m not. Not today. I mean, I’m never here to take advantage of anyone, but I am here to meet people from time to time. But not today. Nor in a while, actually,” she said, and sounded somewhat sad.

I looked at her and there was definite regret in her eyes.

“So why are you here today, then?” I asked.

“Habit, I guess,” she said and shrugged. “And to drown my sorrows; much like you. I just didn’t plan to do it in one go after not having ever had a drink before.”

I grinned sheepishly at her and shrugged. “I didn’t actually plan to do any of this. I live nearby and I was heading home when suddenly getting drunk for the first time in my life sounded like a really good plan,” I said.

“It isn’t,” she said, and looked at me with an expression that told me she had done the same and wasn’t happy about the result.

I felt kinda sorry for her, for that.

“That’s why I intervened with your plan.”

I looked at my drink; only half of it remained. “This isn’t a very strong drink, I take it?” I asked softly, trying not to sound or look too embarrassed.

“No,” she said and laughed her wonderful laugh again. “No, it isn’t. It’s practically a soda with some alcohol added to it,” she said and looked at me. “Good, though.”

I nodded at her. It was tasty. We sat there, staring at each other in silence for a few minutes. I sipped my drink now and then and managed to finish it. I felt a bit lightheaded, but I don’t think I was drunk. Surely not from one drink that wasn’t even that strong? I felt my cheeks and ears getting slightly warm and I smiled at her.

“You’re seriously a lightweight drinker, darling,” she said, smiling. “You got drunk from one Blue Angel. That’s seriously cute,” she said and grinned at me.

I felt a buzzing in my head and my mind made some leaps I was uncomfortable with. I shook my head to clear my thoughts, but that was a serious mistake. Everything spun and I felt queasy. I tried getting up, but almost tripped and had to grab the table for support.

She stood up and caught me by my waist before I fell. “Whoa there, darling. Take it easy,” she said and smiled. “You really got drunk from one! Oh, my. Can you walk, Jo?” she asked.

I nodded at her, not trusting myself to speak correctly.

She put my hand over her shoulder and supported me. It was a tiny bit hard since she was a head taller than me, but we managed to make it to the bar.

“Jake,” she hollered to the bartender. “I’m taking her home. Could you put my bag behind the bar? I’ll be back for it later.”

The bartender nodded and walked towards the table we just sat at. She took me to the door, and we looked out at the weather. The wind had only picked up, and now rain and hail were joined by small stones and probably a dozen frogs.

“Oh, I forgot about that,” I said and grimaced.

“Ah crap, it was that bad!?” she said, sounding defeated. “Fuck,” she added, sounding more serious this time.

I looked at her and she was muttering something under her breath. “Well, I’ll get you home and I’ll worry about getting to mine later,” she said for me to hear. “Whereabouts do you live?” she asked, turning to look at me. “You don’t have to tell me the exact address, but I’ll get you as close as you want to go.”

I didn’t know why, but for some reason I trusted her. I didn’t feel threatened at all. She didn’t seem like a person who’d murder me in my home or break in and steal everything later. Yeah, I know, that’s what they always say. But somehow, I trusted her not to be one, and told her my complete address, down to the apartment number.

She looked at me with her eyebrow raised.

“Trusting,” she said and smiled at me. “Let’s go then, darling. Take a good gulp of air, hold your breath, and swim fast!” she said, and pulled me into the storm.

Good Night

I was vaguely aware of her opening my front door and walking me to my couch. I didn’t remember much about the trip outside, other than all the cold and all the wet. We were both drenched; I thought my dress was just ruined, and my jacket wouldn’t be dry for weeks!

Kat lowered me to my couch and stood in front of it, catching her breath. She was completely drenched, as well. Her long blonde hair hung in wet clumps, her makeup was running, and her clothes were completely wet. Somehow, she still managed to look absolutely stunning.

She looked around and walked to the kitchen. I heard her opening a few cupboards, then heard the tap running. She came back with a big glass of water and put it on the table next to me.

“Drink this,” she said. “It’ll make you feel better; trust me.”

I looked at her and sat up properly. escort balıkesir I smiled weakly at her and took a big sip from the glass. The water was fresh and cold, and it felt good to drink. Somehow, even after all that wetness, my throat felt dry, and the water helped immensely.

“Thank you,” I said quietly. “And sorry for everything. I’m fine now,” I added. I didn’t want her to worry. I didn’t know why, but it made me feel bad if I thought she’d worry about me. I wanted to assure her I was fine.

She looked at me and smiled. Something about her made me feel… differently. I couldn’t explain it. I’d never had that feeling before, so I didn’t know what it was. It was like… everything in the world was correct and right when she smiled at me. Even though sad things happened, and it was shit outside, and my head hurt, it still somehow made me feel good when she did that. In general, I felt at ease when she was near me. I couldn’t explain the feeling and it bothered me.

It bothered me enough that I kept staring at her instead of at my glass of water.

She put her hands on her hips and looked at me. “Are you going to be okay?” she asked.

I nodded at her. There was genuine concern in her voice, which I didn’t expect.

She looked outside and sighed.

“How far away do you live?” I asked. In that weather, walking anywhere was a pain, let alone if she lived far away.

I didn’t have any plan. Maybe calling her a taxi would have been great, but somehow that didn’t occur to either of us. Though maybe she lived somewhere where you couldn’t go by car, which would make it infinitely worse in this weather, and I wanted her to walk somewhere like that even less.

“On the other side of town,” she said. “Near the lake,” she added, looked outside again, and sighed.

On the other side? That’s like more than a few miles! In that weather? There was no way in hell I’d let her walk that distance, alone, in that storm.

“You’re so not going out there alone,” I told her in a firm voice. I wasn’t going to let that happen. “Stay the night here at my place. Take a shower, dry yourself up, and stay. I can sleep here, on the couch. The bedroom is just cleaned; I changed the sheets today. You can crash there for tonight,” I said.

“You sure?” she asked with her eyes wide open.

Her concern for me was apparent from her voice. “I’m a total stranger to you and you’re drunk. You shouldn’t do things like this…” she said. She looked at me awkwardly. It was clear that she didn’t want to go out there, but I wasn’t sure if she wanted to stay here, either.

I looked straight into her eyes, and before I could stop myself, I just blurted out, “I trust you.”

I don’t know why, but I did. I just realized it then, but I trusted her with my life. I could’ve given her a gun and gone to sleep beside her, perfectly sure she wouldn’t do anything to me. I couldn’t explain the feeling, I just knew that.

She opened her mouth to say something, then just closed it and stared at me. She looked at me for a minute, then smiled, then laughed out.

To my drunken ears, her laugh sounded like the most wonderful thing in the world, and I smiled at her and started laughing along with her.

“You’re something, alright,” she said in the midst of laughing. “Alright, I’ll take you on about your offer, but I can take the couch, you go sleep in your own bed,” she said and smiled at me. She offered me her arm, and I grabbed it.

She pulled me up. Or tried at least. I’m quite a bit shorter than her, but while drunk I still managed to pull her on top of me on the couch. She was so close. Her face was right on top of mine. I could smell her. She smelled so good. A hint of fruits within a flowery fragrance.

Her lips were right there, next to mine, so close but yet so far away. It would be so easy to reach out with mine and just… Her eyes were like big blue lakes on a cloudless day. Staring right into mine. I tried to look into those eyes and find out what she thought, but I couldn’t. It wasn’t a hostile gaze in any way. She was taller than me, but she wasn’t that heavy. It wasn’t an unpleasant feeling having her there.

My heart beat really fast and my breath quickened. She felt soft, her body against me. I didn’t know women would feel so soft. I can’t say I disliked any of it. I felt a hotness spread throughout my body, like a warm cup of tea after a winter day outside. I found, to my absolute surprise, that I was aroused. Just her being there was enough to wake my parts up. A small thought was born, deep inside my head. What if…

She rose up quickly and apologized. She turned away, but I could see her cheeks were flushed. She didn’t say anything, just braced her feet better and pulled me up from the couch, this time successfully. I was silent too, though my heart beat faster still. Her scent lingered in my nose, her touch on my bosom.

Without the alcohol, I’d probably be too embarrassed and shocked, but now I was just… entranced. I couldn’t come up with a better word. Everything about her intrigued me too much. I wanted to get to know her better.

She guided me to my bedroom and supported me when I almost fell over again. She lowered me to my bed and stood back. Her cheeks were still lightly flushed, and she looked at me awkwardly.

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